Click on the read more link if you want to read my personal post.

Today was the second day I went to my friends house to be with her family. In case you missed the original post, a friend of mine died in her sleep on Monday. My mother took the day off and I dropped off my daughter at my in-laws. I knew what was ahead of me and I couldn't be strong enough to not cry in front of Natalie. Besides, who would bring a child into a house that is in mourning.
So we arrived there and the family gave the mother some sleeping pills. We sat with the father and the things he was saying would make your heart ache.

• What did I do to deserve this? We are good people. We live by the Golden Rule. What wrong have I done to bring this on my daughter?


• I can't bury my little girl. My little baby. My precious first born. How can you bury your baby.

It was so rough. We got in a few laughs thinking about the good old times. My friend lived two houses away from me growing up as a child. She moved around high school. So every moment of my young life includes her in the memories. I am from Astoria. I lived on a block full of children. During the summers, we would all sit our our stoops and have parties. The parents would bring out their blenders filled with mixed drinks and the kids would play tag or four corners in the street. I was surrounded by good and happiness. It was like a movie set. There was always so many children. She was one of them.
Then the mother woke up and it all began. She was screaming and shaking and yelling at God "TAKE ME! Take me instead. I survived Cancer to have to bury my daughter?! Why did you do this to me?" What can you possibly say to that? We just sat there with her and cried for about 5 hours. It is too much to handle. The funeral is Saturday. Her oldest son now knows. He was saying how he spoke to his mother last night before he went to bed. It took every ounce of my being to not cry in front of him. He doesn't need to cry anymore. He is so brave at 5. Her youngest ran around not understanding. Maybe it's for the best. I came home and asked Rosie (a good friend of mine online) to do some posting for me so I could just sleep. I just wanted to sleep a little. She gave me her support and I will never forget that.
Now I am just waiting for my husband to come home. My daughter is sleeping and I ordered a lasagna from this Italian restaurant. I was in no shape to cook tonight.
I guess I learned to appreciate everything you have. I say this because SOMETHING good has to come out of this terrible nightmare. I am walking away from this experience no longer worrying about the small stuff. I just want to thank everyone again for all your kind words. Each time I read something from you I felt less alone. AND I REALLY MEAN THAT. I know I don't know you all. But I am glad to have this site to connect us all.