Salma Hayek Really Wanted A Boy
Mar 5, 2008 AT 11:00 am
For those of you with kids, did you have a preference on boy or girl before you found out the sex?
"I have something to confess, I wanted a boy. Probably because I was afraid. I think women suffer a bit more than boys, and there is always conflict between mothers and daughters. But now that she's here, I'm so happy she's a girl. And I can't imagine there ever being conflict between us, because I'm in a state of innocence where I love everything she does."
For those of you with kids, did you have a preference on boy or girl before you found out the sex?
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I always wanted girls only. I always felt sorry for mothers who had boys for some reason. I was never shy about stating my preference even though my family and some friends thought it was horrible: "You should only wish that the baby is healthy and not care about the sex". Well, I did and still feel the same. I had two boys before I got my girl. Knowing how much I wanted a girl, my husband insisted we try one more time. I love all 3 kids. I do find raising boys to be much more difficult than girls once the teenage years begin. p.s. my relationship with my mother has been strained, at best, since I turned 13 years old.
We had 3 daughters, I think we were secretly hoping that the 3rd was a boy, but it was another girl. It was definately a challenge at times having 3 girls. I think my husband found it difficult at times living in the same house with 4 females. Sometimes he would just go out in the backyard and talk to Charlie our male golden retriever at the time. Charlie was a great listener. Now the kids are all grown and on their own and the Charlie has gone on to dog heaven. We are all close and life is good.
> "I think women suffer a bit more than boys"
What a load of crap. We do worse than girls in school, we have more cases of depression, we die a lot sooner.
I had two boys and then was told I probably couldnt have any more. I went on Clomid for 6 months and still nothing. A year later when I found out I was pregnant, there were conflicting opinions about the sex, and I was Soooo happy to have a girl. I always tell her she was my miracle baby. Girls are harder in some ways, but I am so glad I have her.
I was pleasantly surprised to know that Salma and some of the posting on this site felt the same way. My daughter is in middle school and is my pride and joy. She is loveable, smart, respectful, good self esteem, and good sense of humor. We get along good and I hope it continues. I believe spending a lot of time with your daughter, being a good listener, a good example (no tabloid magazines or reality shows etc.) and remembering how it felt to be a child helps in creating a positive lasting relationship. I believe bad behavior deserves a consequence but not physical punishment.
#14 jazz
lol!
My husband wanted a boy too and we have a daughter. We have a female dog and cat and I think I will borrow your husbands joke; estrogen factory lol!
I saw on HBO "Who Am I" years ago that this male computer programmer got a sex change operation to be female. He ended up making 30 percent less as a female computer programmer. It is tough living in a mans world, but we females are making progress, and I hope there is more to come.
My dad wanted a girl so he could molest me. I was always considered the favorite from my 2 brothers. I was molested from age 2 to puberty. Once I got into puberty; my dad stopped molesting me, but one time he fondled my breasts and I just could not take it anymore. I did not even want to hug him and one time he said while laughing, "Are you afraid I am going to grab a boob." Then after reading the newspaper about abuse; I learned that the creepy feeling I would get when my dad would touch me was called molestation. 1 in 4 girls are molested. Please make sure your daughters understand about inappropriate touching. My whole family knew I was being molested and did nothing for years; actually never did anything about it. One time when I was 13; I asked my dad why he molested me and told him I was totally disgusted with him; he just looked at me and did not say a word. Then the next day my mom told me that my dad was afraid I was trying to get him in trouble. My mom told me that my dad did nothing wrong. All I wanted to know was WHY from my dad. It shall remain a mystery. I feel better just typing this. Thank you.
Survivor #18 - I am so, so sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
My husband and I wanted a boy and we had a boy. Not sure for my reasons.
Survivor, I am so sorry to hear of what you have been through. Not only were you abused by your father, but your mother also betrayed you by not protecting you. Have you been seeing a good therapist? There are some really horrible therapists out there, but there are also some incredibly gifted therapists, so you have to try out different therapists until you find one that you feel will help you to make progress. There are also many great self-help books that if you read frequently, will help you so much. Too often, when this happens to children, they blame THEMSELVES for the problem - and they carry that "guilt" with them into adulthood. When you are a child you do not know any better, so you will take on that guilty feeling, but when you are an adult, you can CORRECT that false belief and learn the truth: that it had nothing to do with you - it was your parents were mentally sick people and they were incapable of being parents. You deserve to have people in your life who truly love you for who you are. And MOST IMPORTANTLY of all, LOVE YOURSELF for who you are.
Dear Paige:
Thank you for your support. Although you are a stranger; it means a lot to me. I have never been to a therapist, but I did read The Road Less Traveled years ago, and it helped me put things in perspective. Also reading articles about molestation helped me as well. Recently I have given myself permission not to be around my father. And I would never trust him alone with my daughter. My dad would ask to watch my daughter and I would always give an excuse and not the real reason; my fear of him molesting her. It warms my heart to see my daughter being raised in a loving and nurturing home. And my daughter has a father who truly loves and cares for her. I see my daughter on her fathers lap and it brings me joy. I now can experience a happy childhood through my daughter’s eyes and it has been absolutely wonderful. The feeling of betrayal and the pain of being molested never completely goes away, but I’ve learned how to manage it.
baby, you did fine.
Hi Survivor,
I am so glad for you that you have formed your own family and that you are keeping your daughter safe from your father. You were of course right to give yourself permission to not be around your father. He actually has lost his right to the title of "father" since it is not a RIGHT to be a father (or a mother), but it is a PRIVILEGE to be EARNED. He should be in jail right now. But the most important thing is that you survived and now you can be a light to others who have suffered the same abuse.
she got lucky
When i was preg with my daughter i really wanted a boy. My heart was set on a boy. Mainly because i already had a 12 year old boy. I was a tom boy myself.
How would i deal with a girl. I want girly at all. i hated pink and dress too.
now that i have kelsey i wouldnt trade her for anything. I am doing well having a little girl. we have tea partys. and do each others nails and our hair.
We learn to adapt
if i have another child I dont care what i have.
as long as their healthy
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