Whenever Ted Casablanca has some time, he always write up these long winded blind items. And you’d think with pages and pages to read, I would be able to figure it out. But alas, I am lost yet again. See below and tell me who you think he is talking about. Oh and it isn’t Renee Zellweger, Tilda Swinton, or Catherine Zeta Jones. But they are all Oscar winner’s for supporting actresses. Is that a clue?
Browhilda Frown-Free has just about everything a once desperately ambitious, unknown actress could desire: fame, wealth, notorious love, Academy Award notice, great bone structure, fab hair, free cosmetic procedures for the taking – “everything but the freedom to love the one she’s (really) with. Don’t worry though, babes, Brow’s been down this fake-amour alley before. She’s a friggin’ pro at navigating the affectionless twists and turns of the overly photographed.
Howev, BFF’s latest man experience – “heady as it all may be – “has become slightly more than Browhilda’s used to, what with her past liaisons of coolly arranged get-togethers. You know the age-old ersatz Hollywood plan: A couple goes out for a red carpet whatever; then they go in for separate, much more private dalliances with their same-sex partners. Brow’s had this setup with almost every man she’s hooked up with before.
But Ms. F.F.’s latest dude – “who’s more than happy to bed every slobbering femme he can find – “has turned out to be far messier than Brow-babe would prefer. Not only does he womanize with indiscretion, he’s stupidly starting to make a loud and rather visible stink about Brow’s increased devotion to her current g-f. How does that Shakespearean saying go? Oh what a tangled guy web we weave, when at first we hetero deceive? Watch out, Brow, we be onto ya!
OK – so who is dating someone who is a playboy? And might potentially be gay? Here are the last few supporting actress winners:
- Jennifer Hudson
- Rachel Weisz
- Cate Blanchett
- Jennifer Connelley
- Marcia Gay Harden
- Angelina Jolie
- Judi Dench
- Kim Basinger
It can’t be any of those…can it?