Duffy Says No To Love
JUN 16, 2008 AT 03:48 PM
Singer and songwriter Duffy has officially said no to love. She feels that doing so is the only way to never get hurt. It's better to love and be loved... don't get me started.
"I’m a commitment-phobe. Why? I don’t know - it’s the one thing I’m afraid of. It’s tough, it just scares me… all of that stuff. I’m really happy on my own. Because that way, no one can hurt you… The reason I don’t have it in my life is because they’re only going to hurt me."
Read more about: Duffy, Out and About
36130 points
Uh,...okay?
765 points
She's right - love sucks :)
Love don't suck, is the people that suck. Love is a beautiful feeling; something so great no human mind or heart can comprehend. This is the reason we hurt each other and take each other for granted. Humans are the problem...we are selfish.
2715 points
Maybe someone will come along someday and sweep her off her feet. It's obvious that she hasn't met him yet. You know, maybe she got burned bad once and isn't willing to even think about going there again? I have been there, still sticking with freedom over a relationship any day. I figure don't waste time on the wrong ones, because right one might get over looked
330 points
Someone tell this kid to grow up.
Her album is really good. And you can definitely tell by her album that she must've been majorly hurt in the past.
she is right love is overrated, there is nothing better than a pint of Haagen-Dazs, The Keebler Elf, pizza hut, Taco Bell, McDonalds, KFC and a movie...now that's love.
hmmm somebody sounds like a food addict. food can't replace love. it doesn't even come close!
If you guys want real love, for those of you who have pets...look into their eyes. That's real unconditional love, they love you no matter what.
300 points
Can someone say "issues"??
*rolling eyes* Oh my God...*snorting* That sounds like something I would have said in high school, being the angst-filled Smiths/Cure-listening drama queen I was, living in my self-imposed ivory tower. Puh-leeze!
Get burned to a crisp ladies one time and then criticize. I totall understand where she is coming from having had it happen to me. I don't know if I'll ever let it back in. I hope someone will prove me wrong some day.
btw - this girl can sing. Love her music.
True. One bad experience can leave permanent scars that won't f*&^ing heal no matter what you do!
Duffy is still very young, 23 I think? and I'm sure as she matures she will realise that love and all it involves is worth the possible heartache.
She will definitely change her mind when she meets the right person. :)
she never said anything about love, she is talking about commitment, those are two very different things.
not really. the implication is that she is afraid of a loving relationship because she doesn't want to get hurt.
who the hell is this chick?
300 points
I agree with Iowa girl. Maybe someone will come along and sweep her off her feet. I think the idea of taking care of your feelings, and your heart is important, but maybe she going at it all wrong. Falling In and Out of love is a crazy/hard/numb feeling....but man you can grow, and learn so much from it. And this is coming from a 23 year old. ;)
176150 points
Love HURTS, and it hurts bad. When there's love, it will never end pretty no matter what. Someone will get hurt in the end in every situation. I agree with what she says completely. I'm scared of relationships, even though I'm in one. I don't think I want another again after this. It just hurts too much, the ups and downs, and it causes so much stress and worry. Especially if and when my relationship does end, I'll probably just die (meaning suffer a broken heart for a year or two after). Love has taught me never to trust anyone except my family.
You're right, Monica, about the family bit. I had a relationship three months ago that lasted more than three years and when it went down, yes, the truest love comes in the form of your family.
And then again, for everything that's good, there is the bad. We just have to expect it. It comes in the form of everything. Love being one of them. And sadly, the whole equation ends up with the words 'unknown' and 'unexpected'.
Maybe Duffy trusts the unexpected. I'm in the same phase, I guess. Right now, we're going to declare such things to keep ourselves alive. And then maybe just one day, someone's really gonna sweep us off our feet again. We'll just never know.
In the meantime, Duffy's real good. It's her outlet, the singing and all :) Cheers.
How sad.
2210 points
The thing you fear most is the thing most likely to happen to you. Love, in all its forms, is never wrong. Also, just because you choose not to have a commitment does NOT guarantee you're not going to fall in love and have your heart broken. Sometimes it happens whether you want it to or not. :)
FD: You mention that she never says anything about love, only commitment. HELLO?! Why would anyone commit to someone they don't love? Exactly. If she is afraid of commitment, she is afraid of love. I think she has an amazing voice, but really, what a defeatist attitude she has! I think most of us have been burned before...but it doesn't mean we'll be alone forever.
THAT IS SO SAD :(
For me, the greatest love I feel is the unconditional love toward my children. Between a man and a woman, love is often confused and mixed up with lust, infatuation, neediness and sexual gratification. Being in a relationship does not necessarily mean you are "in love", but regardless, it hurts if it breaks up. I guess the preparedness to enter another relationship and perhaps fall in love relates to the risk one is prepared to take in being hurt again. There are no guarantees. Sometimes one can be hurt so much by another that the risk is too high. That's where I am at the moment. When one's ability to trust has been broken one too many times, it is very difficult to believe that a new man would be any different. At times it can feel lonely, but being in a relationship is not the definition of one's existence. I also watch friends in unhappy relationships clinging on for dear life because they fear they cannot make it on their own. For now, being with myself is the right place to be. As for the future, that's unknown, and not guaranteed either...
Wow, I really like what you wrote here. I am in the same place and feel that all men are the same. Deep down, I hope I'm wrong...you wrote so eloquently about this subject I just had to comment. You are not alone!
Wow great post! I agree!
300 points
its gonna sneak up on her one day :)
i believe everything happens for a reason.there is reason for you to have different experiances in life whether hurt or being loved.that is what make us grow.i have been hurt so many times before in my age and i almost closed my heart completely for love coz i also thought that it sucks and man are all the same.but today i'm in a loving realtioinship for 3 full yrs and it's still going strong every day and has tought me a lot coz now i know better.believe me when i say that her time will come for a right guy and you will deffinetly know if he is the one for you.
The truth is very few people experience what love is.
300 points
How sad. And how cowardly. If you don't take risks you will never get anywhere. Same with love. Ultimately what she can't face up to is to trust another person. How very very sad. But then, she's only young. I'm sure when the right one comes along she'll realise that loving and trusting another person is awesome!
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