Maxim Makes Nice With Sarah Jessica Parker
JUL 18, 2008 AT 02:58 PM
Last year Sarah Jessica Parker was named the unsexiest woman of the year by men's magazine Maxim. She was very public about how the title hurt her and said it was a "brutal" insult.
But it looks like the magazine is ready to make nice....kind of. They are naming her this year's "unexpected crush" and say she'll receive the award in their August issue.
Hmm, too little too late? What do you think?
Read more about: Sarah Jessica Parker, Magazine Shots
330 points
Mr. Ed approves of his little pony receiving this award. Mr. Ed always has a crush on his little pony! Say goodnight Wilbur.
300 points
Screw Maxim. The type of man who reads that sort of magazine is a boorish, moronic caveman with zero intellectual powers and shallow taste in women, anyhow. Just think of the type of women who *grace* the cover of that publication. Skanks. ALL of them. I'm not knocking all magazines geared towards men -- Esquire and GQ are pretty reputable, but Maxim is just horrid. I've thumbed through it before. It's IDIOTIC. The fact that they singled her out in the first place is incredibly cruel and unnecessary. In fact, a less confident celebrity might have sued them, but I admire SJP for sort of taking the high road. And if I were her, I'd tell them to take that *award* and shove it.
23115 points
So anyone who reads maxim is an idiot? And any girl who poses for them is automatically a skank? Riiiight...I think you might be a little bitter.
300 points
Essentially, absolutely, and not at all.
Ernestine, you are right on and brilliant!!...Maxim is good toilet literature...the dude's that read Maxim are the same jackoffs that need to be #69 on the baseball/softball team...I have read Cosmo for about 10 years now and I have learned a ton of knowledge about women...If a dude had half a brain he would read Cosmo to listen to women and hence be a better partner.
300 points
Thanks for the compliments! I just hate sexism in general is all. And I DO have some beef with Cosmo, to be honest -- I actually think THEY portray a lot of MEN in a negative light. They aren't ALL sports-obsessed himbos who can't keep their peens in their pants. But hey, we all have our guilty pleasures. :-) And you are DEAD-ON about those Beavises wanting #69 on their jerzies and stuff. UGH.
330 points
I have to say that Cosmo is an awful magazine, it's all about pleasing your man and embarrassing moments.
300 points
It's sort of like YM for grown-ups. Remember THAT magazine? All of their models were totally anorexic and the articles consisted of How to Get a Boyfriend! How to Keep Your Boyfriend Happy! When Should You Put Out? UGH.
Exactly. Cosmo is just as bad as Maxim. Both feed into stereotypes about men and women and relationships.
Ernestine shut up you bitter homely fat woman. It sucks for you you are not attractive enough to be on or in Maxim. The girls are HOT, and you and SJP are clearly not. I have never thought SJP was good looking. The woman has a horse face and has no business showing it to the public. she is very lucky to be in the career she has. Someone was not paying attention when she was hired. women like her, because she is not threat. Men call em' as they see em'. Too bad her poor wiiiitttle feelings got hurt. The truth does hurt and it is brutal Ms. SJP. Old Nellie is just upset because maxim did not act like one of her paid ass kissers and lie and tell her how wonderful she looks. Please, they called her on her fugness, and now she has to deal. It is nice to see them making sort of, there is nothing wrong with that. But they will never say she is hot or good looking.
Not only does she have a "horse face," she has a big nose too. And I agree, she is ugly. Angelina Jolie she is not.
300 points
You can call me ugly AAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL you want. The internet is so amusing, because I've NEVER been called ugly in real life. And if I truly thought of myself as unnattractive, I wouldn't have a profile with a PICTURE. Just saying. And I'm actually on a quest to gain weight, so calling me fat is almost a compliment. I think that curvy girls look way better than scrawny ones. It's cool, though. You're probably just the same PSYCHOTIC LITTLE AS$HOLE who ANONYMOUSLY POSTS 3453454534545 negative comments a day -- many of them aimed towards yours truly -- and STILL doesn't have the balls to get a profile with a PICTURE. I'll bet you look like Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty's love child.
Thanks, Ernestine, for making me LOL. Your comments are the best!
300 points
*mwah* Anytime! I'm a prickly personality. What can I say? And I love Lucy, too!
OK Ernestine hon, hate to burst your bubble and illusions about yourself, but I clicked on and i looked at your bigger pic. i think YOU think TOO highly of yourself, whilst U are not butt a** ugly like Sarah j. parker, you are HARDLY a young Grace Kelly either. so dont give your so much credit darling, i see better looking women at grocery stores. you sure as hell ain't all that and a bag of chips. and as far as you being slender, i see fat hanging down form your UNtoned flabby arms. so i don't know where you get you are too skinny, cause i ain't seeing it. And if you are so friggin hot, then why the heck you posting god knows how many comments on the internet. Shouldn't a "beauty" like yourself have a ton of eager suitors waiting on your doorstep? Nope, they are not, cause you are NO young Cindy Crawford, Jessica Alba, Kate Bosworth, Tori Paver, etc etc. A Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model you are NOT!! You are average looking at best. Dont ever forget it. Now go ahead and post back, unless you are on one of your many hot dates.
300 points
Oh, I'll post back. I'll ALWAYS reply. And I instantly disregarded everything you said when you commented on my "untoned flabby arms." HAHAHAHAH!! Dude, my arms are, like, the SKINNIEST parts of my body!!! You're just the type of girl who hates anyone who happens to be more attractive than she is. And I'll bet that I'm waaaay prettier than you. Sorry. Nothing you say is going to destroy my high self-image -- and I think it sucks when women dis each other in that way, but whatever. Again: it's not as if you're brave enough to post a picture yourself. So...I can only assume that you're just a horrid bitch with an awful self-image. Now go throw up your dinner, get back on the treadmill, go back to watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians and daydreaming about someday becoming JUST LIKE one of THEM, and go f*ck yourself. Oh, and I'm done with dating. Right now, I'm waiting for my boyfriend to arrive home -- he's a nice boy; he's been visiting his parents. And I'll probably chill out with him for a while, get laid, and have a great night's sleep. P.S. The fact that you think Kate Bosworth is attractive says a LOT about you. She weighs about ninety pounds.
You stupid fool, I'm not a girl, I'm a guy. what your little bubble burst now. I never said anything about being a chick. you just wanna think that. Bet you would like to think so though. My name is Zachary. sorry, not a chick. Read my other post to you and your tongue buddy on the 2nd page. You are NOT all that babe, and you certainly are not worth me being late to the movies for. And remember, start out with the 5 lb weights. now get going with your flabby armed self.
I'm out.
300 points
Ohhhh. Isn't this kind of a FEMININE site for you? Shouldn't you be checking out imabigtoolwithabigtool.com, or hotrodcentral.net, or hotwh0reswhoneedlovin.com? I mean, I love this site, but it's a CHICK THING, doncha think? You're probably the type of guido who shops at Abercrombie and spends more on hair products than ANY woman who happens to be unfortunate/drunk enough to sleep with you. GOD, I pity those women. If there are any, that is. You're probably some sixteen year-old flogging your twig to Paris Hilton in your mommy's basement. And you don't have to leave! Really! I SO enjoy emasculating douchebags like you!
Ernestine, I guessed the blogger was male, and I'd guess a young one too. He's living in a fantasy world, and expects that women should (and want to) look like the cosmetically enhanced, photo-shopped stereotypes that feature in a second-rate rag like "Maxim". It is typical for such men to come back at women who question these stereotypes by attacking their physical attractiveness, assuming that they are jealous, ugly, fat and homely, to use the blogger's own term. When outspoken feminist, Germaine Greer, had her famous debate in New York with journalist Norman Mailer, one of his comments to her was that she was a lot better looking than he imagined she'd be!!!!!!! It is insecure men who are threatened by women who refuse to be defined by their looks alone. Men who are worth bothering with respect a woman who has intelligence and personality. The real irony in all this is that while such men as the blogger place so much emphasis on a woman's physical attributes, they usually don't measure up to the male stereotype of physical beauty themselves! It only goes to emphasize that they see the playing field as different for men and women.
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
Thankyou Jax. I have read your later entry which I found brilliant and have replied to that. I think we have a mutual admiration society going on here! On a more serious note, the issues raised apply in other Western countries and not just America. In Australia, we have a female deputy prime-minister, the highest ranking female member of an Australian government ever. For her efforts, she has been named a "barren woman" by a member of the opposition party, because she has done the unthinkable and dared not to have children. Her accent has been likened to that of a "Footscray fishwife", Footscray being a rather down-at-heel suburb of Melbourne. Her hairstyle and choice of clothes are constantly scrutinized by the media. Also in the Cabinet, is another woman who is a very "out-there" lesbian of non-Anglo origin. Things are changing!!!!!!!! I will probably be attacked for being anti-man, but that is certainly not the case! The two most important people in my life are my sons, but I have made sure that they have been brought up to respect women, and in doing so, respect themselves.
300 points
Okay. Let me first just tell you that I studied abroad in Australia while attending college here in the states -- that's University to you folks :-) -- and you live in the GREATEST COUNTRY ON THE PLANET. I travelled to Brisbane, Byron Bay (*swoon!*), Sydney, Broome, Perth, Tasmania, and spent a month in the Outback. I have nothing but glowing memories of your country and its people (except the way your government treats Aborigines is deplorable, but it's no worse than how our pitiful government treats our Native Americans, but this isn't a political blog and PLEASE don't get me started on John freaking Howard or George W. Bush. Those two asses are just peas in a corrupt, ignorant pod -- you're SO LUCKY Howard is gone, and I'm counting the glorious seconds until we can elect Barack Obama into office and be done with this bullshit. ANYWAY: " It is insecure men who are threatened by women who refuse to be defined by their looks alone. " Yep. You are so, so, so right. I'm proud of the fact that I don't spend a lot of time thinking about my appearance. I'd rather spend my time doing yoga, or riding my bike, swimming in the ocean -- things that make me feel healthy and physically fit. And I've never dated a dude who even REMOTELY resembles -- intellectually speaking -- our little young friend "Zachary," and I've never retained male friends who share his views, either. Fortunately, I know a lot of high-thinking, evolved males who share a lot of my own feminist views and only want the best for the women in their lives, and women all over the world. Thanks for your post. You're a smart Sheila. :-)
300 points
LMAO,,Go girl.tell them how it is.
I agree with u.
I think Sarah is awesome
300 points
I also think Maxim should retract
300 points
Oh, they won't retract anything. ONTD has the full scan of the article, and I read the first paragraph or so -- it's SO condescending. They don't mean a word of it -- it's like pouring salt over her heart and just rubbing it in.
Cave men. Seriously. Too little too late? I think it's just another insult. To call someone and "unexpected" crush, is the same as saying "I never thought I'd fall for the ugly girl, but she has such a great personality I couldn't help myself". What a bunch of jerks perpetuating women's insecurities. The same guys who write this crap are probably sitting around drinking Pabst with their hairy beer bellies hanging out. Blech!
3330 points
I couldn't agree more!!!!!!!
300 points
"To call someone and "unexpected" crush, is the same as saying "I never thought I'd fall for the ugly girl, but she has such a great personality I couldn't help myself". WORD.
23155 points
They just keep rubbing in don't they. They should just leave the poor girl alone. I agree that is another insult.
::: claps:::::
Ernestine, I could not agree with you anymore.
an example of a maxim "skank"
MEGAN FOX! all she does is talk about nasty shit no one wants to hear except for nasty horny men that are nothing but dogs!
300 points
Well, I actually think that Megan is pretty, but her handlers try to tart her up to the degree that she COMES ACROSS as skanky. My own personal epitome of The Maxim Skank is the Ultimate Skank of the Universe: Paris freaking Hilton. The type of men who subscribe to Maxim are the same dudes who actually find her attractive and desirable. And I'll bet nearly all of them have crabs. Seriously.
& for the record, SJP isnt THAT unattractive, and even at that, no one should be embarassed and have things like that said about them, especially to the whole world!
300 points
This is the funniest thing i ever heard. i couldn't give a toss as much as SJP couldn't give a toss. she earns more money than those losers at their pathetic magazine could ever dream of! LOL.
p.s. Vera – your math is getting harder. think of those who need a drink before they log on and comment! :D
p.p.s. where the heck are yer smilies? and yer bolds and italics? not under formatting options, they ain't! :shock:
hjhj
oh whateva grrrrl!
12920 points
I think the original title was completely unjustified and just all around not-nice. I applaud SJP for being proud of who she is and not changing for Hollywood, since so many stars do. She has never seemed to have problems getting choice roles. She seems very nice, somewhat intelligent & down-to-earth. I think Maxim should have left well enough alone and focus primarily on the the women who choose to buy into the hype and actually pose in their magazine.
SJP is still ugly but her personality...- That's basically what I got from the whole "unexpected crush" bit. Not hard to figure out what Maxim meant by this "special award". Nice of them to continue piling on.
I guess they weren't too happy with the backlash generated from SJP's indignation and hurt when they called her unsexy last year. I do think it hurts SJP and her family and I do think she does "give a toss", else she wouldn't have publicly replied to Maxim's dubious award last year.
She may not be pretty but she is someone's daughter, sister, mother etc and it's got to hurt them too reading commentary about their "unsexy" or "ugly horse face" daughter. Someone mentioned Maxim being a skank filled magazine, maybe so, but I'm sure being called ugly or unattractive by even the vilest of magazines doesn't make it hurt any less.
Lena
I'm confuse...when that story first came out, she was quoted saying:
What they don't know is that one day I'll wake up fat. But I'll still be happy, just like I am now. I believe in the old 'sticks and stones' philosophy, so frankly their words don't come close to hurting. And it does not bother me in the least if people don't think I'm sexy. I don't think I am, either.
and now she is saying "the title was hurtful and brutal"
HUH?????
In my opinion - she is not sexy. I think she's cute and fun and has a great personality, but definitely not sexy. Just because you're not sexy, it does not mean you're ugly.
Ernestine, megan fox may be pretty but she still talks like a slut. I think she wants to be known as that, or else she wouldn't allow her so called "handlers" let those things come out that way! dumbieee!
300 points
The only thing that made me raise my eyebrows is her saying something to the effect that she loves sex a lot, she has a high libido, etc -- but she followed that up with claiming that her boyfriend had no problems with that or whatever. I mean, I don't necessarily think that's the sluttiest thing in the world to say. Uh, I can relate, know what I mean? If she had said that she loves to just screw random dudes every single night after getting wasted and clubhopping...yes. Totally trampy. I just wonder if she realizes how absolutely fake and trashy she LOOKS sometimes -- the heavy and obvious makeup and her Bratz doll outfits just drive me insane. I mean, WHY?!?!?
SJP is powerful they were probably threatened.
I think they called her unsexy because of Carrie,you know Carrie was always talking shit about men(sex defects).So that's why they hate SJP.
Maxim like barbie types women,look beautiful and shut up "suck my dic*k and shut up bitc*h".
They are losers who can't get a woman in real life,i think SJP is attractive.
300 points
She looks absolutely adorable. I love her. It is said that she had a pro file on 'Ric h ki ss. c om'. It's a profes sional da ting site. Many celebs join it and become VIP members there. Is she dating someone rich there?
Maxim magazine can go F*ck itself. It is pure, unadulterated garbage. If you truly analyze their content with a critical and educated eye, you will find that it is chock-full of women hate and fear. Any publication that reduces women to their mere parts and speaks of them in terms of judgement, as if they were animals at a state fair is absolute trash in my book. The best boobs? Nicest ass? Least sexy? Give me a break. These are humans they are tearing apart.
And has anyone noticed that the woman selected to receive the most vitriole also happen to be among the most successful and powerful women in MEN terms? Yep, think of SJP for a moment. She's a wildly successful actress and producer simply raking it in with her talent and brains---Of course, she must be brought down a peg! What's the best way to hurt women in our backwards, T&A obsessed culture? Why, her looks, of course!
SJP, (who by the way, is gorgeous in every conceivable way,) said it best---because she didn't buy into the fake tits and inflated lips bullsh*t that our fabulous culture now practically insists upon, (aka: female butchering) she gets the male-dominated (adolescent) smackdown.
I say screw Maxim. I say it's time for a boycott of their garbage. It's also time for women to stop taking part in their own objectification. It's also time for men who care about women to stop contributing to their detriment.
Unexpected crush? My @$$.
Successful, powerful, beautiful talented woman?---now, there's an award fitting for SJP.
Women ... hell, all humans, deserve much better than the tripe Maxim's serving.
300 points
WORD UP. Is this my beloved Jax from CDAN? If you're one and the same, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm just wondering. :-)
I'm not that Jax, but based on your comments, I would still love to be your beloved! You rock!
300 points
You rock as well, my friend! I have a feeling that we're kindred spirits.
This seems like a backwards compliment. I happen to think SJP, though not "conventionally" hollywood gorgeous, is an intelligent, beautiful, talented woman. To say it is "unexpected" to have a crush on her is rude.
13780 points
besides the fact she can wear a bag and look good.....true revenge is loving and living well...........and it is never too late
13780 points
besides the fact she can wear a bag and look good.....true revenge is loving and living well...........and it is never too late
300 points
You're right. The woman can wear ANYTHING and look fantastic -- even that insane outfit she wore to the London premiere of the SATC movie was pretty amazing. And her hair is glorious.
I think SJP is great. I felt really sorry for her and can't imagine being in her shoes. No matter how famous you are or how much money you have, words like that still hurt, especially in an industry where looks are pretty much everything. She didn't deserve it and this is just another low blow from a low-class magazine looking for publicity (which unfortunately they are getting - I'm sure they love the PR)
WOW!!! I see a lot of bitter, old, jealous, chubby, busted UGLY chicks come to this site. Buck up girls, its not your fault (that would be your messed up DNA) you all are busted homely, probably fat too, and never get the attention from MEN. Maxim is on the spot on mark about Sarah Jessica "my little pony" Parker, the woman is not at all pretty, and she needs a nose job. she tries to come off as a sex symbol and is now pissed MEN with taste and EYES have shot her illusions down the toilet. Maxim, for the most part features slim nice looking fine women--well except for Brooke Hogan.
What would make all you fugmos happy? I guess if they crowned heinously ugly potato headed Rumer Willis the beauty of the century. Then you hags would be happy.
300 points
If you're so critical of SJP and OUR collective appearances, why don't you grow a pair, get a profile, and post a picture of yourself so we can all judge YOU? I know I'm not ugly. In fact, I'm absolutely waiting for you to post some snarky reply to that statement -- something to the effect of, "YES HUH! YES U R! U R SSSOSOSOOS UGGLY!" -- or something similarly vapid. But I have self-confidence, my friend. And the fact that you posted -- anonymously -- simply to denigrate a whole bunch of us who've stuck up for a woman unjustly singled out by a moronic magazine shows that you're a coward who completely lacks confidence and compassion. Oh, and a brain. You could certainly use one of those, too.
Thank you for proving my point so eloquently and so quickly! I could not have drawn a graph that would have made my point any more clear.
Ring the bell! School's in. Here we have a typical response from a fearful, larvate person (notice that I didn't say "male" as I am a non-sexist and recognize that they come in female form as well.) So, this person upon reading strong, well-thought out and cerebral arguments which insist upon justice with force and conviction, does what? Respond in an equally cerebral manner---even if to disagree? Why no! He goes straight for the well-played social weaponry that American culture so conveniently provides to keep women in their place. Let's see---Age? Check. Jealous of one another? Check? The ever-popular weight factor? Of course! And certainly, ugly. Always ugly.
The most interesting aspect of this diatribe, however is that this "author" actually POINTS OUT and admits that SJP had too much going on and it was almost a "duty" to "shoot her illusions down the toilet." How charming. How telling. I'm not quite sure which illusions he's talking about as her success is certainly quite measurable and palpable. Also, quite noticeable is how this "author", without question, imbues these "men with taste and eyes" as qualified purveyors of culture to the detriment of 50% of our population. Ummm, it's a lad mag and these "publishers" are simply playing to the most base and cruelly reactive amongst our society. People, feast your eyes on the results!!! We can do better. We must not stop trying to do better for one another. Men and Women.
300 points
I LOVE YOU. PLEASE KEEP POSTING ON THIS SITE, OH MY GGGGOOOD!
you must be a dog, post a pic. but i bet you dont have the nerve. You are mad because us men like good looking women, and you ain't one of them. go get yourself a fag, cause no real man would even give you a 2nd look. and Ernestine, like i said, you ain't all that and a bag of chips darling. get over your flabby armed average looking self. If you were so hottttt, YOU would be on the cover of maxim, playboy, SI swim edition. And you would jump at it given the chance! (Oh, I am sure you will come back and tell me how you could be a model, but wont participate in that type of demeaning job. Yea right honey, LOL!) But no way is it happening. Not now, not ever. Don't ever forget it. I bet all the women that come here are lesbos anyway, cant get a man, so you have to do one another, no respecting man would s*rew hags like you. Unless you put a bag over your head. Well we would, but we would not tell anyone. Ernestine, lose some weight on your flabby arms, get a makeover, fix up your average face, then maybe you will be dooable. maybe worth a movie and a dinner. Which btw is what i am getting ready to do, going to see a late showing of Batman, going with a chick that all you fat slobs on here would hate and be jealous of, you know, the kind of girls you all call "skank, slut, whore" out of pure hatred and jealousy, the kind of hot chick who is not a skank, just nice and attractive. and unlike you homely hags, can command attention from me and my buddies and the male race in general. Have fun wallflowers on your little webstie. and Ernestine, at my gym, we have weights for those flabby arms of yours. I suggest you do curls and start out with 5 lb weights, and QUICKLY work up to 10 lbs.
And i dont care how much money SJP has, money can not buy beauty. and that Mrs. Ed clone would have to be as rich as Bill Gates just to make her barely dooable, and be able to admit it to your buddies. Have fun chickies, and there is a reason why all you hags hate Paris Hilton, it is because men like her, i dont even find her that good looking, but she is hot, hotter & better looking than you Ernestine, that is for sure. P.S. Ernestine, i still have one cr*p hole, your little tongue buddy did not rip me a new anything.
300 points
To be quite honest, I tried reading a few sentences, and was quickly awash in a sea of jibberish, so I didn't finish. Not ONLY are you a shallow dumbass, but you're also terrible at expressing yourself. I'm sure you're really, really popular with all those gorgeous, sexually-available ladies, though. You seem like QUITE the charmer! P.S. I'm sure you're very adept at masturbating. A guy like you needs to, ahem, BONE UP on that particular activity.
300 points
P.S. And what the hell sort of hetero man says THIS: "you ain't all that and a bag of chips darling." LOL!!!
I'm not sure which is sadder. The way that you feel women must be brought down, or the story that surely rests behind it.
I know the facts as well as I know myself and the hundreds of people like yourself that I've encountered in my studies and in my work. For every sad person out there that fears another whole type of human, whether it's based on race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation, there is a very sad story that precedes it. And this story does not usually end with that sad human going to the movies with an archetypal and understanding beauty that meets the apparently high standards of your surrounding and supportive friends, or as you describe them, "me and my buddies." Surely they do not exist either. (However, of course, they might--I surely can't know this, but I would bet my entire bank account on the supposition.)
The type of human that feels compelled to tear another group down harbors something, that if it did not exist, would surely lead them to that wonderful movie with the woman who loves and understands them. This would be instead of to your mom's basement or dark, lonely office where you type furiously to tear down strong women or comment horribly to a beautiful young woman brave enough to speak her mind and attach her lovely photo. Nobody speaks with such vitriol unless they harbor a place of great pain. You see, I don't hate you. I pity you. The same way I pity people that dumped food on black people's heads at lunch counters, the same way I pity people that kill in the name of religion or deny others their rights or opportunities---so afraid that they will lose if others gain. They see power as a zero-sum game. I pity you that your fear is so great as to place yourself among these groups.
For the record, I don't refer to any humans as "skanks" or "whores." This is for obvious reasons. I certainly don't lay the responsibility for the cultural failures that women must deal with at the feet of Paris Hilton. She is simply thriving in the culture that she had no part in creating. While one can disagree with her methods, the changes must be fundamental. It is interesting how often she is blamed for the cultural mess. On one hand, how powerful she must be! On the other, it is like blaming a tadpole for the existence of the mucky swamp.
As far as jealousy is concerned, while it is a common human emotion that no one can escape from, I certainly don't feel jealous towards anyone's success. I don't see achievement as a zero sum game. There is enough for all of us. Of course, I also don't view success as the attention of men, highly toned arms, the cover of FHM (I'm shooting for TIME, personally), or a late-showing of Batman with a man who seethes with pain and fear, enough to spew the type of venom you secrete here.
Every misogynist I have ever encountered has a story. There is divorce, there are custody battles, there is unrequited love, there is abuse, there is abandonment, there are his own perceived shortcomings that make him lash out towards one entire half of creation. If he can't control it, he will try to harm it. It is so base.
Now, it is time to evolve and treat all humans as just that. No one is put on this earth to be the whipping post of another. No one is put on this earth to satisfy the gaze or power hunger of another.
Don't be afraid. Evolve.
I'm going to cut to the chase and skip the eloquent banter...you are an idiot!
Jax, I did not mean you...this posted in the wrong spot. I was referring to the young man who has been posting and proving what a barbaric idiot he is. Your comments are great!
Beautifully put. Naomi Wolf, in her book "The Beauty Myth", published in the 90s but as relevant today as ever, discusses the very points you bring up. She writes about how women today are "kept in their place" by subjecting them to a perceived notion of acceptable female beauty. Not only does this separate women from men, but it puts women in competition with eachother. Survey after survey reveals that young women, in particular, view their body image as their number one concern. Women spend their time and energy worrying about fashion, cosmetics, weight-loss programs and anti-aging treatments under the notion that by keeping their looks, they will remain "in the race". The irony is that by using their energy in this way, they effectively keep themselves out of the race. Do you see men worrying about such garbage? If you look at men with wealth and power, so-called "successful" men, it could be safely said that very few would have made it on their looks, and certainly not their youth. SJP is a woman who has enjoyed success in an industry obsessed with youth and a stereotyped physical beauty. She is now in her 40s and doesn't conform to the stereotype. What better way to put her back in her place than attacking her physical and sexual attractiveness? The backlash it has created is positive on one level in that it shows that women are questioning such attitudes and publicity ploys. However, on a negative level, it has afforded a pathetic, second-rate rag mag a degree of publicity it does not deserve. Even the current stunt of calling Ms Parker an "unexpected crush" underlines the notion that to find her attractive is surprising therefore she is still unattractive, and affords the magazine yet another round of undeserved publicity. However, I agree with Jax that the way for us to move forward is for men and women to do so together, with mutual respect, and not allowing the lowest forms of popular culture to dictate to us the way we should think about eachother.
Wow--great posting. I read The Beauty Myth a long time ago, but I think it's time for a dusting off. Thank you for the education. I'm also enjoying the backlash with Maxim magazine, and I'm hoping that it will outweigh the free publicity aspect. It was awesome that SJP spoke out and used very strong terms. The rest of the list was so very disturbing, but so telling. The list consisted of either exceedingly strong, successful women, (Madonna, Sandra Oh) or previously wildly successful women that are currently going through tough times. (Britney Spears, Amy Winehouse) (This has also led to some serious examination of why our culture is obsessed with "women falling down"---often referred to as "train wrecks" in the media, even as they are examining the wretched phenomena of how "we" all love to watch.) The most horrific aspects of the unsexy list were the reasons cited. For example: Britney Spears--"two children, a slight weight gain and having lost the ability to perform!" As if she were a racehorse, as if her sole purpose on this earth is to satisfy the male gaze. Some may argue that "you live by the sword, then you die by the sword" suggesting that these women put themselves in an industry that alternately sings their praises, but them tears them apart. I might agree with this if not for the fact that this treatment is not reserved strictly for women in the entertainment industry. Volume notwithstanding, Sarah Jessica Parker is no more or less likely to be judged and alternately praised or torn apart than a middle-school girl in the cafeteria, than me simply trying to cross a city street, than Ernestine daring to speak her mind. This is a shit sandwich with no bread...and we are all expected to take a bite.
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Do you have any Germaine Greer recommendations? I've never actually read any of her work, but now I'd like to.
I think SJP is quite attractive. She also seems nice, smart and has a glowing personality. She seems to be a doting wife and mother, is humble and appreciative for all her success, and has always been kind to her fans. She's actually one of the classier celebrities out there. I don't get why Maxim keeps targeting her. They owe her an apology.
Ernestine...please reply to Jax's last post!!!
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I sorta just did -- I couldn't have stated it any better myself! Although I totally forgot to ask the choad Jax responded to (or, you know, the person whose butthole she just tore WIDE OPEN) what a supposedly Maxim-loving douche is doing checking out such a female-friendly website in the first place. :-) And if that douche in question is female...so, so, so sad. I'm just glad that there are still women out there who are willing to stick up for each other and show compassion towards one another. I don't buy into the whole "women are silly, looks-obsessed, jealous little creatures" theory. We're just far too intellectually advanced for that!
Amen! Now, if we could just clone us a whole truckload of Ernestines, I do believe we'd have a chance! : )! Hope everyone's having a good night---just finishing more homework. I'm glad I stumbled across your postings. Firstly, I'm a huge SJP fan, and secondly, I'm a purveyor of fine misogyny in all its pathetic forms. The internet, which was supposed to be the new frontier of equality---a place for free-form ideas not laden with the heavy societal detractors that we normally must bear---has become a hater's paradise. People that would normally restrain themselves for the sake of reputation now anonomously rant the most vile crap. (Of course, others, such as the publishers of Maxim, have no such concerns) Here's to picking our battles wisely! Yeah, I'd pretty much take a bullet for SJP! : )!
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"I pity you. The same way I pity people that dumped food on black people's heads at lunch counters, the same way I pity people that kill in the name of religion or deny others their rights or opportunities---so afraid that they will lose if others gain." You're brilliant, Jax. Thanks so much for ranting and raving about this stuff -- it's all heavy material, to be sure, but it certainly energizes me to know that other women are aware of the mysogyny that still thrives in this culture, and are willing to stick up for women they don't even know. And I know that you, and I, and our Aussie friend are evolved -- to use your word -- enough to be aware of the far worse treatment of women in certain other cultures, and it's crucial to speak out for them, too. The best thing we can do is raise our daughters and sons to fight against this sort of thing the best way they know how. I honestly believe that eloquence is one of the most powerful defenses against chauvinism -- as is showing compassion towards young boys. And when you encounter some troglodyte, show 'em you're smart, and they'll usually tuck their tails between their quivering legs and slink away. The fact that most women have big brains is shocking to some men. *sigh.*
To Jax: from the lady in the Land of Oz again. Your response to the male who derided you and Ernestine was fantastic. If only these men could see that they are repressed by the very attitudes they hold toward women. While needing women, they actually live in fear of them. They contradict themselves and underline their feelings of inadequacy by reducing women to nothing more than physical appearance and relative sexual attractiveness. If a woman shows herself to be more than this, then the immediate response is to attack her and try to belittle her by saying she cannot be in the race because she is ugly, fat, a lesbian, undesirable, can't get a man, etc, etc. To Ernestine: I loooove Germaine Greer, not only because she is a fellow Australian, but because she has the guts to say what she thinks and doesn't give a damn about what anyone thinks. I do not always agree with her, but admire her for her courage. A good place to start is by reading her classic, "The Female Eunuch". It can be heavy going in places but it's worth the effort. Another book worth reading (fiction) is "The Women's Room" by Marilyn French. I only read this book recently and it was a revelation. I was reading about my mother's life, the difference being my father supported her in returning to University, whereas the main character in this book has to divorce her husband to find who she really is. It is great to have a girl as young as you interested in the Women's Movement as many young women today dismiss feminism as irrelevant to today. In my opinion, for what it's worth, it is becoming increasingly relevant. Feminism is not about man-hating or ball breaking. Greer, sums this up in the conclusion of the above mentioned book: "The first significant discovery we shall make as we racket along our female road to freedom is that men are not free, and they will seek to make this an argument why nobody shoud be free. We can only reply that slaves enslave their masters, and by securing our own manumission we may show men the way that they could follow when they have jumped off their own treadmill." This is so true. I look at my sons (aged 19 and 22) both at University and on the brink of adulthood, and worry about the pressures they are subjected to as males, as much as I am sure I would if I had daughters. Is it so hard for us all to see ourselves as people, rather than putting eachother into boxes based on sex, race, ethnicity, wealth, education or a host of other differences? Or is it part of the human condition to survive by putting another down instead of drawing on collective strength? I hope not...
Sorry about typo in Greer quote. "Shoud" is "should". Getting late here! Time for bed!
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No worries, mate. :-) Grab some tucker, blow a kiss to the Southern Cross for me, and get some sleep! And I'll be sure to check out that Greer book from my college library. I attended an all-women's university. They're sure to have a LOT of Germaine Greer on the shelves. Oh, and I've always wanted sons; that bond between a mother and her boys must be really extraordinary -- especially when you're able to raise them with sagacity and compassion, as you've surely done. I'll bet they're great men, and their girlfriends (or, hell, boyfriends) are definitely lucky, lucky people.
I think it's time to end this blog now, but I enjoy reading your other postings. Just had to add this, because it was my older son who commented on it. The Pope has been visiting Australia and gave a special youth mass at a racecourse in Sydney. It attracted 300,000 people, which is phenominal considering Australia's tiny population. I am not Catholic and not religious, but some of what the Pope had to say regarding the proliferation of violence and sex in society, particularly on the Internet, made sense. When one of Sydney's supposedly more respected newspapers reported this and other aspects of the Pope's visit on its online publication, right next to the article was one of those flashing ads advertising a product in a highly sexual manner!!!!! One wonders whether such an oversight and insult to one of the world's religious leaders was poor editing, or they just don't care as long as the advertising dollars keep flowing in. But in all this, the most important thing is to maintain a sense of humour, no matter how ridiculous things seem at times.
Had to give more details re above articles in Sydney's Daily Telegraph which actually sponsored World Youth Day. And I take back my comment that it is a respected paper. It just enjoys the largest circulation in Sydney. Next to the article describing the Pope's visit and the fact that Australia's first saint was to be canonized, was a larger article featuring model Gisele in a bra top leaving very little to the imagination entitled "Is this the hottest shoot ever?". The next day the same newspaper gave a very solemn and supportive editorial regarding the Pope's visit, but then included an article featuring "the world's sexiest catholics", all women and in various states of undress. This sort of garbage is more damaging to women than any article in a rag mag such as "Maxim". "Maxim" does not claim to be anything other than it is, but when the constant reduction of women to sex objects occurs in mainstream newspapers read on a daily basis by millions, there is a real problem. And to put such articles next to those reporting on the Pope's concern about sex and violence on television and the Internet is beyond belief. Is it arrogance, stupidity, bad editing, or a combination of all three? I sure don't have the answer but I feel a sense of shame that an Australian newspaper could reduce itself to such levels - and I don't live in Sydney. If you want to see this stuff for yourself, go to abc dot net dot au / Media Watch and click on July 21 2008. PS The person to be canonized is female!!!
Sorry. That should be all lower case with no gaps. abc dot net dot au/mediawatch. Go to July 21 2008 and click on "Moral Confustion".
Take care my Australian friend and Ernestine! Yes, we went deep, but if not here, "in the trenches" then where? : ) It was awesome to see where women go when we encourage each other instead of tread all over one another! : ) Hope to see you back around here again. For some really great modern updates to why these issues are important, try feministing (dot) com. I'm not a contributor or anything, so please don't think this is an ad (haha) The women on that site rock! Also book publishers, etc. and soooo inspirational, but very modern and cool. Thanks for all the insight and the great ideas. It awesome to not feel alone in the universe. Sigh. : )
Thankyou to you, Jax and Ernestine, and all the other contributors who spoke out in defence of women (and SJP), despite the attempts of a few (male?) contributors whose aim it was to undermine our self-confidence in ourselves as women. We all know that we are more than our looks, whatever they might be, and must never allow ourselves to be told otherwise by individuals or by the lowest forms of popular culture in our societies. And to Ernestine personally, you mentioned Byron Bay and your love for it. That is where I plan to live when my boys are independent. Paradise... My father lives nearby just over the border in Queensland in the mountains behind the Sunshine Coast, north of Brisbane. Currently, I live in Melbourne due to work and the educational opportunities it affords my sons, but grew up in Adelaide after my parents migrated from the UK when I was a little girl. We Aussies move around!
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