I have spent most of my life behaving like a man. I had money, power and I wanted to control everything. I would be the one slamming down my credit card at the end of a meal and opening the door so the man didn’t have to. It’s just not attractive. It’s not how a woman should behave.
I am getting back in touch with my feminine side. I dress to show off my curves rather than hide them with boy clothes, I let men help me down steps and I sit back and wait for the man to pay for dinner. I may have more money, but I don’t need to prove it by being in control all the time. It’s nice. It makes me feel sexier and more feminine.
– Alanis Morissette
I agree completely. I used to be a hard-working woman with plenty of money– I could really take care of myself, but letting a man be in control just makes me feel so much more like a woman. I would never go back to my old, independent ways.
Her comments are so gendered and stupid. Everything Alanis says and does is so completely disingenuous. I can imagine that some execs came up wih this rhetoric—to soften her image and make her palatable to the masses again. It is such obvious pandering…and even that won’t make her relevant or revive her career.
Her comments may be gendered but they’re not stupid. If that’s how she feels, that’s how she feels, no one ever said she was an expert on anything. However, I do agree with her statement. Who doesn’t like to be taken care of? I can’t help but wonder if this is brought on by her ex being engaged to ScarJo though…
Well, let’s skip the money issue for a bit. She needn’t be boyish anymore and dares to be feminine and sexy because she has gained more inner assurance and confidence. Malish women have got status issues. alanis agrees on that, she says she doesn’t need to control everything anymore.
Feminity can equal maturity sometimes.
Whoever proposes the date should be the person to pay — male or female. I definitely don’t agree with the notion that men should always pay. In fact, I think it upsets the power balance in a relationship. My boyfriend and I have always traded off from the very beginning of our relationship. I make my own damn money, thanks, and sometimes I LIKE to treat him.
men should always pay on the first date at least.
I agree with Alanis. Men like to take care of a woman’s needs even if it’s old fashioned. It’s nice to be treated like a lady.
I got nothing.
That’s probably why she isn’t with Lance Armstrong anymore, he’s a total control freak and probably couldn’t stand it.
What?! You’re thinking of Sheryl Crow.
What makes her think that power and femininity can’t go hand in hand?
Agreed! What is this, the 1950′s? Get a grip!
social norms rule!
Although I don’t think that gender roles should ever EVER be absolute, it definitely makes for a nice date when the man pays, and opens doors, and pulls out chairs etc… It makes a woman feels special and shows a mans attentiveness. But I also think that men like to be taken care of in such ways too just on a more private level due to the stigma involved with being (for lack of a better word) a kept man.
She’s talking about what makes HER feel feminine. I can see her as a person who would try to be the strong woman all the time and would feel like letting a man do the things she’s talking about make her feel less like she’s in control. It’s a delicate balance for those of us who care about not feeling like we’re reverting to stereotypical female roles. I agree with Ernestine, it SHOULD be a balance between partners and not one person relying on the other all the time.