It’s true, the world is quick to judge the women who don’t want to have babies.But, Cameron Diaz wants us to keep an open mind.
“I think women are afraid to say that they don’t want children because
they’re going to get shunned. But I think that’s changing too now. I
have more girlfriends who don’t have kids than those that do. And
honestly? We don’t need any more kids. We have plenty of people on this
planet.”
This is a dicey topic…but do you look at women who don’t have any kids differently? What do you think about what Cameron has to say?
Photos by INF.
Giedre you sound like a freak.
I don’t like how every time I meet someone, one of their first questions is “Do you have kids?” and when I say “No” they either feel like there’s nothing to talk to me about, or are holding back asking why? I also don’t like to feel the pressure to have to defend myself, but often times I do, which leads to me thinking I might have offended their own choices. UGH! It’s exhausting!
I can relate to that and that is so sad for them. I am happily child free and lots of wonderful things i can do in the society more than just bearing kids. When I meet people or old friends , they’re like” Looks like you’re happily married , so how many kids do you have? When I said oh none. And they will follow up with a question, why? Then I said, we’re happily childfree.. then they will ask again , why? you don’t like children? Aren’t you envious with us? You will miss the happiness of being a mother. I want to laugh out loud and said , hey we have different choices and different priorities in life, hence your sources of happiness like having kids is different from me. I feel complete without kids and can focus more on my loving relationship with my husband. Like George Carlin said, I wanted to say ” . What kind of empty people need to validate themselves through the achievements of their child, as well as having a child is an achievement and saying children will complete a woman. Marriage is not synonymous of having children and the close minded and judgmental people are sooo funny and patheticly ignorant. Oh well arguing with them is just a waste of time.. and being child free … you can attain a happier love life with love of your life.
I have 2 kids and love them to death but I completely understand anyone who doesn’t want kids. It’s hard to juggle a career and kids and I find myself thinking all the time, “when my kids are older and out of the house I will….” So yeah, I understand and would support anyone who made the decision to not have kids.
Its too bad most women don’t adopt this way of life. Unfortunately, a lot of women use pregnancy as a trap or a government hand-out.
I think she has a good point about the world being overpopulated as is. People rarely like to acknowledge it, but there are a finite number of resources on this planet and unfortunately we can’t accomodate everyone having as many children as they want—at least not for very much longer without serious consequences. Developing countries are catching up, and guess what? They want the same standard of living as Americans, which basically amounts to the consumption of tons of resources. What would happen if overnight the entire world lived as we do?
At some point, I truly think we’ll have to go the way of China and put a limit on how many children a family can have. It would be wonderful if people could be trusted to plan their families responsibily and with concern for the rest of the world, but sadly there are reckless loons in the world like Kate Gosselin and Nadia Sulaiman who make that reality an impossibility.
I just tell people that I can’t have kids since the “accident.” Yeah, it was a tragic slip and fall. Now all my yolks are broken. :0)
OMG JUDE! Way to put some humor into it
when asked if i have kids i always reply, “i’m childless by choice” it weirds some women out.
I’ll promise not to judge her now if she swears not to become supermom if one of her many beaus accidentally knocks her up.
I am so happy to read these comments! Sometimes when I come to this site I feel like it is soooo pro-pregnancy and mom-centric. Most of my favorite people are moms and I love other peoples’ kids, but as somone who isn’t a mom this site can be a little off putting sometimes. So these comments make me really happy!
HERE HERE!!!!!!!! I actually love children so much I refuse to bring one into this over populated planet. There are plenty of children that need love in this world…. spread love don’t breed….
what she says is so true! i couldn’t agree more. i love that she is a confident woman that doesn’t feel the heat of society breathing down her back. i always felt like i never wanted children and dont think there is anything wrong with that… but after i met my husband i knew i wanted his children!
i encourage women who are strong and able to support themselves and input their energy into doing other things that are good for the world other than making babies! ( i also think adoption is an amazing thing and hope to have the means for it someday!)
absolutely agree with cameron. i don’t have kids and don’t want to have kids. it’s not that i don’t like kids because i do but i just don’t want to have one of my own.
Spread love, don’t breed? With a statement like that, I certainly hope you remain true to your ideals!
Agree 100%…………………………………….stop all the breeding! There are starving, unloved, homeless, etc. children dying every day. What’s wrong with you people? I have a child. She’s adopted! Spitting one out doesn’t make it a different situation. If you think it does then you DEFINITELY don’t need to be having kids.
Ever see a riot on television?
People are animals and animals are meant to reproduce. Biologically it is inside of all of us. Those that have no inclination towards reproduction are those who have somehow convinced themselves they’re above nature altogether, which I’m sorry to say is a lot of people.
Jude – thanks for the chuckle and the lighthearted approach to dealing with rude, personal and nosy inquiries that often times rubs me the wrong way.
I really didn’t think much of Cammie’s personal life or choices because she doesn’t really register for me as anything but a model and actress, but after reading this quote, I’m going to view her in a different light – a good light. I’m not big on caring what actors do in their private lives, but someone who is so high profile making a very thought out decision such as this and stating it publicly, risking scorn and huge backlash from her own gender, is A-OK in my books.
I like to believe feminism gave us the freedom to choose, and that when we do make choices with a lot of thought behind them like Cameron has, that the rest of my gender would be ok with allowing me to do so privately without judgment. It may not be your personal choice, and it doesn’t have to be the same as yours, but it is mine. And I have the right to make up my mind any way I see fit as long as I’m not hurting another living soul. Agreed? Isn’t that what we should all be striving for?
As for the rest of the mommies who love to call us unnatural, I would like to remind all of you that you have a 50/50 chance of giving birth to the next Ted Bundy, or the next Uni-Bomber or even the next terrorist. Those kinds of killers are, to me, unnatural. Comparing raising children who become mass murderers to my choice to opt out?? Harsh, unnecessary and hurtful to the race as a whole in my books.
As a mom I can’t help but think that she think’s she doesn’t want kids but she is SO missing out if she doesn’t. I mean once you have children you realize it’s the meaning of life and it is the most beautiful experience you can imagine. I don’t judge her or other woman who feel the same – but I can’t help but feel bad for them if they don’t ever get to experience motherhood…..
A 50/50 chance? That makes sense, because we have 3.5 billions bombers, and cannibalistic murderers alive right now. You’re a smart one
I think it’s a good thing that Cameron voices that she doesn’t want to have children. Women (and even men) who say they don’t want to have children wouldn’t be the best parent for the kids in the end because they never wanted it in the first place. Parenting is a HUGE responsibility. Why not let the people who love it do it?
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China currently does and will have many many problems because of their one child per couple policy. It threatens much of what they have built to accomplish these last many years. It have completely changed their social dynamics (what do you do with 40 million more men who will remain bachelors? research shows the most likely outcome is civil war, or worse). If we’re picking our poison I’d rather the one that allows us to choose on our own (and good for her for making her choice), than having the government enter in and control everything. Overpopulation (not that is even a real issue) is one problem that is much easier to deal with than the problems those in China have to deal with.
Hera: PLEASE don’t “feel bad” for her, or any woman who CHOOSES to not breed. That is such a slap in the face to those of us who decide to not have children. That would be like me saying to you “oh, I’m so sorry you have children”. You would take offense to that thinking, I have no doubt.
Children are hard enough to raise when they’re loved and wanted, never mind if somebody had them just to fit in. No woman who doesn’t want kids should have them. However, it bothers me that Cameron is saying that women should not be judged for not having kids (and I agree with her on that) and then turns around and judges women who do have kids. Ironic.
p.s., can we stop using the word “breeding” here? We who have kids are not rabbits, we’re women.
I’ve been dealing with this crap for half my life. I am childless by choice and VERY happy too. Where do others get the right to judge women who DON’T want kids? What about all the people who have kids and either neglect them or abuse them. Having kids doesn’t make you a saint, it doesn’t make you a “complete” woman, it makes you a birth mother. Now, being a GOOD mother is a whole other story.
On another note, why do so many people in the USA adopt foreign orphans instead of orphans from the USA?
Oh Hera – please having kids is NOT the meaning of life.
Living healthy and doing what is right for one’s own life IS the meaning of life. If that does NOT include having kids, then that is one’s own choice.
I am so sick and tired of fanatics of any cause getting on their soap box.
TO each his own. I am childless by choice – aka childfree and happy and I am not missing out on anything !! I AM HAPPY and SO IS MY HUSBAND !!!
Yes, humans are mammals. However, it is our brain and our ability to make CHOICES that separates us from the rest of animal world. Yes, biologically it is inside all of us. However, it is our thought processes and freedom of belief that make us top of the food chain and give us the ability to act with civility and understanding. Your statement gives way to excuses for a lot of illicit behaviour, for example, murder and rape, that are common to animals without the cognitive ability to discern right from wrong.
As a childfree (by choice) woman, I am so glad to finally hear people speaking up about this. My husband and I made the decision TOGETHER to not have children. I like kids, I love the children in my family, but it was just not right for *us* to have any, for multiple reasons. My life is not lacking in any way, it’s very happy and rewarding. So many women who have children look down on those of us who have chosen not to, like we are icy shrews, or selfish or lazy, or a disgrace to the gender because we don’t want children. It’s a decision I’m very comfortable with, but the reactions from others can hurt sometimes. We even had a hard time finding a doctor who would do a vasectomy for my husband because we didn’t have children (even though he is 37, I am 32 and we have been married for 11 years). I just wish people would mind their own business just a little bit more, and not judge others for the way they choose to live their lives. I still have plenty of love to give the world, I’m just not giving it to a child a gave birth to.
As a CF’er, I would just like to say: STFU and keep your pity to yourself. I certainly don’t need it or want it, and I’m willing to bet the other women do not either.
As someone who physically can’t have children I find this very hurtful.
Just because I can never have children doesn’t mean my life will be any less fulfilled or happy than anybody elses.
LOL
While I totally agree that women should do whatever they want – have kids or not – and not be judged, it does seem by the kidless ones that they just assume that we moms are going to judge them for not having kids. In essence they are doing the same thing they accuse and condemn us for supposedly doing. We moms are not all judgemental freaks concerned for those childless by choice women (and men) out there. What I think of when I hear about women who are childless by choice is ‘wow, she gets to nap!’. I remember naps and sleeping in. It was nice. I made my choice, and its fine and I knew what I was getting into. She and other women can make their choice too and be applauded for having the bravery to state and stand by their convictions. No one should feel coerced into having kids.
I’m not *assuming* that women with children will treat us that way, I am saying, from experience, that they *DO*.
(Of course not all of them. I can say for certainty that 99% of the people who give us grief for being CF are moms themselves.)
THIS.
Well then you’re just as guilty as these supposed critical moms. I and all my mom friends would never do what you’re saying. A bit hypocritical if you ask me.
sorry about the breeding word but Hera irritated me with her “sad feelings” for those child-free people. This is where I get annoyed: the condesceding sympathy for me because I don’t have children. I could give a flying @#$% if you “judge” me, but don’t give me the sympathy cr@p. It’s disingenuous at best. I love kids, have many many many in my family. This is enough for me.
(-:
what’s hypocritical about speaking from her experience? She’s just saying what she has experienced in her life. And it IS usually (read: always) Moms who are critical (masked by sympathy for never knowing what is it to be a “whole woman”) about child-free women. Why would a child-free person judge another child-free person??
Knowing that I was able to provide a child with a healthy environment, a great education and parents who are madly in love with eachother made becoming a mother a no-brainer. … The world needs more well adjusted people. The human race can’t be left in the hands of the rednecks. For every 10 morons who probably shouldn’t be parents but can’t figure out BC, there are 12 capable women who are childless by choice. I’m frightened for the future. IMHO. I’m not trying to ruffle anyone’s feathers.
bravo!
(-:
I would never judge someone for that – good for them for knowing they don’t want children and for not bringing an unwanted child into the world like some other individuals. We are all on our individual life path and there are many equally meaningful things that give life purpose other than being a parent. On the other hand, I find it equally condescending when people say things like “I would never bring a child into such a violent world” or “I would never have a child when so many other children are waiting to be adopted”. For many people, having a child brings fulfilment and meaning to their life, so why deny them that or make them feel guilty? Either way, it’s a personal choice everyone needs to make based on what is right for them.
Choosing motherhood worked for you, but some women don’t want it and don’t need it. Women choosing not to be mothers is not going to put a dent in the human race. For every 12 women that choose not to be mothers; there are 15 that choose to be.
Wow. Defensive, much? Feel better for insulting me, anon?
The 50/50 chance is as in, you either do or don’t. Just like each woman have a 50/50 chance of being able to have children, or even growing up wanting them. You either do or don’t, either can or can’t. I happen to be a woman who never wanted to reproduce, and found out at 39 I infertile anyway, so it all worked out the way Mother Nature intended it, now didn’t it?
I would like to respond the overabundance of men in China. This is not only because of the one child rule and the government’s meddling hand. This is because of the cultural decision that female children are undesireables. I don’t know the actual statistics, but how many baby girls are drowned, killed or disposed of per year? How many are genetically discarded from testubes in favour of male embryo implantation? How many are aborted in the hopes that the next one will be a boy?
It’s not Nature deciding that every infant born is a boy. It’s humans placing inappropriate judgements on gender value and as a result skewing the ratio to the point of, as you suggest, civil war.
Just sayin…
Someone gave me a retort to “But your baybee might grow up to cure cancer!!” even better than “Yeah, or the next Unibomber”; there are something like 450,000 people employed by medical research and pharmacology companies in the US who have the potential to cure [disease]. Compare that to 1.3 million people who are incarcerated currently. So right now someone’s potential child is three more times as likely to end up in jail than to cure a disease!
Never get to experience screaming babies, bratty toddlers, whiney teenagers, children being born with terminal illness, birth defects, letting your body be ravaged by time *and* childbirth, losing grip on your sex life, not being able to afford spending your own money on yourself, and losing your identity to “Motherhood”? Yeah, I feel like I’m missing out on so much.
“Breed: v. To produce by mating; propagate sexually; reproduce.” Unless your kids budded off your body via asexual reproduction, you bred them into existence.
with all the evil, destruction and greed breeding in the world today, i actually FEAR bringing a child into it…
Hera, I’m sure you’re a great Christian woman and have a lot of empathy for the human race, but you’re projection onto us is misguided and a tad insulting. Please keep that to yourself if you must feel that way.
That’s a slippery argument. “Smart women SHOULD have babies because we don’t want the stupid women having any more.” And it’s as stupid a reason to have kids as any of the other hundreds I’ve heard. Besides, poor education is not hereditary; I know plenty of “capable” well-off women who have children that are dumb as soup.
So, I’m assuming that you don’t have heat/air, have never ridden in a car, never eaten at a restaurant, etc…right? Because wouldn’t doing those things just be you convincing yourself that you are “above nature”?
Oh, but wait, I forgot that using the internet to post to an online forum about celebrities is totally natural! I hear all the lemurs love dlisted, but iguanas are more into the superficial…
Here’s the thing, SheDevil. You can make that statement all you want, but to be fair, you’ve never walked in our shoes, been on the receiving end of the very judgments you claim your friends would never hurl. It’s a tad disingenuous of you to state we are hypocritical when clearly there are boatloads of mothers out there who can – and do – dish it but refuse to take it, often crying foul just like you when we DARE hurl our own judgments back in your faces. I’m glad to hear you’re mature, intelligent and sensitive enough not to do this to us in the first place. We need more moms like you around.
I would never say a woman “SHOULD” do anything. Please don’t put words into my mouth. I was just stating my own opinion/observations. Smart women having children certainly isn’t going to prohibit the uneducated ones from having any more… in fact, I can see why more and more women choose to live for themselves and not bring their children into this world. It’s baffling to me, the women I know who are “childless by choice” never come out and say it to me. They just assume that I’ll judge them for making different choices from mine. If you don’t want kids, then you won’t make a very good mother. I commend them for knowing themselves well enough to recognize it.
Chelsea, I’m genuinely happy for your family life. I am. I don’t begrudge you that. But, I do have to ask, how does a healthy environment+a great education+parents who are madly in love=becoming a mother a no-brainer? Is that new math??
its because vera is a F*UCKING BITCH-just like most christains
hypocritical, 2 faced AS*SHOLES!
Let me repeat myself:
It is not an assumption on my part that women who are mothers can, will, and do judge me for being CF. It is a fact that they do and they have. Again I say, not all of them. I have friends who have kids who are very happy and supportive of me. And if you and your mom friends would never do that, great for you and the people who are around you. BUT…the majority of the people in *my* life who act that way are women who have children. That’s my personal experience. I don’t understand why that makes me a hypocrite.
I guess it’s just my math. I felt that I had a lot to give, so I wanted to give it. I’m not saying that it’s right for everyone. I would never push my reasoning on someone else. You have to follow your own bliss.
Fleur, you and I agree on this one fundamental: I don’t feel like my life would be UNfulfilled if I never have kids. That’s what the condescending mothers love to imply because they just can’t seem to wrap their minds around a life without kids being happy, fulfilled or even worthy of living. It’s a bit twisted if you ask me, but to each their own.
Hey, if that adds up for you, all the more to you!! Really. I want every woman to be happy with their life choices no matter what they are just as I would love for every other woman to feel the same about my choices.
LOL. I love it!!
I will never understand people who make comments like this. You adopted, that was your choice. If another person decide to have a child(or not to), that will be there choice. Nobody has the right to tell somebody else what to do or not to do with their uterus. These orphans, you speak of, don’t fly down from the sky. Women are having them and giving them away or just neglecting them. Basically, it is OK for a woman to have a baby to just give away or treat like sh!t but it is not OK for a woman to bring a child into the world to love and take care of? I plan on adopting one day but I definitely don’t feel OBLIGATED to do it and I don’t feel the need to re-think having kids just because I feel a woman should have a baby if she chooses to. There are a lot of people who adopt because they want to give a child a nice home but then there are others that do it to make themselves look/feel better. Just like a person can have a child for the wrong reasons, a person can also adopt for the wrong reasons.
That is great! I might have to use that one.
true and then the kids are the ones that are neglected
I agree! Every woman has a personal right NOT to have a child. Many smart, educated woman are deciding there is more to life than childbearing. Parenting is a 24/7 job and if someone does not want to do it, I commend them for it. That could potentially mean one less child that is neglected because their parents resent them and one less person in this world.
Why for centuries, has a woman’s uterus and its use been other people’s business – socially and politically?
Hera, that’s funny… because I saometimes feel bad for those who have kids. I experienced kids while nannying for a few years. I did like it at the time, and loved the kids, but was SO happy that at the end of the day I could go home and this was not my life. I got to see what having and raising kids means, and boy, there is no appeal in it for me !!
I plan on giving birth to several. You’ve made your choice and I’ll make mine.
Just because you have the ability to make a choice does not make it a right one. Your comment shows that rape and murder still occur even though we have a choice, civility and understanding.
Even though I plan to have children I find your comment to be so ridiculous. Motherhood may be your meaning to life and the most beautiful experience you can imagine but its not that way for everyone even those with children. So you don’t judge, you pity. How sad are you?
..that’s just bad parenting….okay, that was wrong to say…sometimes it is mental/health related to be a psychopath…wow, that sounds insensitive!! I don’t want to offend anyone….but sometimes it really IS just bad parenting.
The synopsis is that you don’t want to have kids because you are afraid they will be a serial killer? You have issues.
I agree with you whole heartedly…and nobody else can say that unless they have had that experience…just like with any other situation. You can experience the single life anytime you want (or marriage), but you can only experience motherhood when you have/have had children (adopted or natural)…in other words, I can clearly say that motherhood is the best by far. She doesn’t know what she is missing out on, but that is completely okay if you never wants to know too. That is her right.
I am sure that she meant no harm to anyone who can’t concieve. But if you ask a mother of an adopted child, I am sure they can tell you the same thing. You don’t have to naturally give birth to a child to experience motherhood.
My god, that was depressing. I hope you find happiness and joy in other ways, since children do nothing for you.
Agree
Nobody is “giving” you anything. She put it out there on a thread, and you took it. You are offended by choice.
Never walked in your shoes? So she has ALWAYS had a child? My god that was a stupid comment.
What are women before they have children? Aren’t they Child-free? You people forget that women with children have walked in BOTH pairs of shoes. Most women with children know exactly how both pairs of shoes fit. Most of these comments are very empty.
Your “meaning of life” experience is just brain chemistry , besides this is THE classical comment all mothers air…
and for me it´s also one of the causes for not having children, all this “you don´t know what your missing” shitty kind of comments…
False logic. That’s like saying that when you buy a lottery ticket you have a 50/50 chance of winning because you either win or you don’t. You actually have many, many more chances of losing than winning–just as you have many, many more chances of having a (relatively) normal child than a serial killer.
You’re completely missing the point! They’ve never walked in the shoes of a grown woman who chose not to have children. Being a woman who just hasn’t had a child yet is quite different from being a woman who knows that she never wants to have children.
I will say this. I think you are 100% right. As a mother myself, one of the first questions I usually ask when I am getting to know someone is “do you have kids?” Not to put that person on the spot, but just as a topic of conversation. If that person says “no”, then I ask about their lives, work, interests, etc. It’s also true that as a SAHM, I do not have much (on the surface) in common with women who don’t have children or even mothers who work outside the home. It is true that it’s hard to make conversation when you always feel like you are walking on eggshells, from either end. But no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, so turn the topic to other things, or make a slight joke and move on. I love hearing stories from women whose lives are quite different from the never ending mommy-stuff of my own life.
You didn’t read my reply clearly. I never stated I was afraid to have kids. I’m not. Never have been. I have no idea where you got that from, but I’m gonna guess thin air. Not all childfree couples or childfree women are afraid to have kids. That’s not what stops us from procreation. There are many reasons, all personal and individual, and you’re trivialising not only our right to choose, but our choice specifically. My choices are none of your business, just like yours aren’t any of mine.
If the only meaning in your life is to have children then maybe there is something wrong with you. That is depressing.
Your comment isn’t any better since you obviously can’t understand that she is not talking about just having a child. She’s talking about her own experience as a child free woman and the comments that she has gotten. Try reading that again the take a walk in her shoes.
Yes, walk in my shoes. Have you ever made a decision that people close to you and strangers didn’t like, approve of or agree with, and they didn’t hesitate to let you know? If you say you haven’t, you’re a liar. No one is perfect. Before women have babies, of course they are childfree – by default, not choice. That’s what you are choosing to gloss over. You’re distorting my words and making up stuff I never said to feed your own anger and disgust. Now who’s truly twisted? I don’t lavish money on myself, I don’t take trips, I work long hours running my husband’s business (I gave up my old job to come work for him when his biz partner up and quit out of the blue two years ago – I hate it here, but I stay to support him and his dream), I don’t have pets, I don’t have plants, and I could care less about all the life thrills and frills people spend foolishly for, and we also take care of my husband’s aging parents and disabled sister. We have our plates full. Trust me when I say we don’t have time to raise a child right now, and probably won’t until long after I’m done with menopause. I was raised with babies all around me. I helped my mother at her daycare. I did that for the first 19 years of my life. I have had enough baby poop and barf to last me two lifetimes. I’m done with kids. I love them, but not enough to do it all over again. Besides, I sorta see a lot of Depends, poop and barf coming down the pike in our near futures where his parents are concerned to be quite content with our decision not to have kids. Aside from all of that, I have never felt the desire, the want, the need to have my own kids or to raise a family. It’s just not something I ever experienced like women who go onto have kids do. I can’t help that it never happened to me. I can only be true to myself where procreation is concerned. It’s just not for me, not in my cards, not in my heart — however you want to phrase it — therefore, it’s never happened, nor will it. Accept it if you can, but if you can’t, I don’t want to hear about it.
Hera, if you truly want to be heard – maybe start of with…”in my opinion” because that is what you are sharing. stop presenting your opinion as fact. please try to remember that everyone is an individual!!!
Yes, there are too many children in these Third World nations, but simply adopting or sending aid over seas doesn’t cure the problem. It exacerbates the starving, over population problem by subsidizing it. Education about and use of birth control in these countries is the only true solution. Less mouths to feed means more for the already existing population. Common sense.
Are you serious? You need to talk to someone about your problems.
There are a lot of Caucasian women and Eurasian women who find Asian men attractive and love the work ethic and regard for education that Chinese men and the Chinese culture have… certainly some of these bachelors can look overseas for wives.. *-*.. I applaud the Chinese for limiting their population… but wish they would sterilize after the first two children… not abort…We will eventually have to do something about population in the U.S… it would be better to have people voluntarily sterilize themselves after the second child instead of aborting…Especially before the government steps in..
so anyone who doesn’t have the same ‘meaning of life as you’ must have *problems*?
really?
Yoiu sound like the one with problems.
except that the ‘single life’ is not the same for all single people, any more than all mothers experience the same things.
The fact that you may have been single once gives you no footing to claim that you understand how I experience the world.
I praise anyone who is willing to admit they are not “mom material”. Look at all the neglected children of the world… we CERTAINLY dont need anymore of those!
i applaud that as well!
I agree. A;though I have kids, it certainly isn’t for everyone and there’s not a damn thing wrong with choosing to not have children.
I agree; at the same time we shouldn’t judge women who CAN, WANT to and DO have their own biological children. I applaud women for being women and making their own decisions about their bodies, lives and freedoms. I believe a woman’s life can be complete & fulfilled with or without children, or with or without birthing them. As for myself, I have 4 children that I had myself (with my husband’s help) and of course I love them with all my heart (when they are not driving me bat — crazy); we are doing our best to raise them to be honorable, honest and contributing members of society. However, it does not make one less of a woman because she CHOOSES not to have children, or she CHOOSES to adopt children, whether or not she can have them on their own. We need to see each other as individuals, not with our own goals & ideals. If we all thought and felt the same, this would be a very boring place to be.
Just because a woman hasn’t chosen to have children doesn’t mean she is not “mom material”. Some women actually choose not to have kids because they are thinking responsibly about their own personal situation and not selfishly bringing a child into the world knowing they wont have the proper amount of time and energy to raise their kids. That makes them more “mom material” than some who put no thought into how they are going to take care of their children.
agreed!!
I agree a hundred percent with her. I don’t want kids and my family tries to convince me I do! I think it makes people uncomfortable to think that women don’t want something “natural”.
Usually other women find it “un-natural” if a woman chooses not to have children. Women have been brainwashed into believing, we all want to get married and have kids.
You’re dead on with your thinking that it makes other people uncomfortable. Most people don’t do well without absolutes or norms or even standards to structure how to live their lives. Since we are bucking all of those things, they are uncomfortable with letting us be or even accepting our choices. I mean, who are we to decide for ourselves when society has always dictated how everyone should live our lives, or conduct private and public our affairs? How embarrassing we are to our own kin, to our own parents, to our bosses, teachers, friends and foes?? *yawn* Who wants boring ole normal anyway?
I am in the exact same boat. My husband and I have been married for 9 years. Our families are absolutley devastated that we haven’t had children. We have been suggesting to them that we may never have children, but they just don’t understand. They look at us with blank uncomprehensive stares. It’s very hard. I feel guilty for this.
I agree with her 200%, just because a woman has a uterus is not grounds for her to breed. Aniston, Diaz and all the other ladies have a right not to have kids if they don’t want to.
No kids…no big deal. Good for her. (And I have 2!)
I agree, women should be able to choose wether or not they have children without any kind of judgement. That being said, why is it that she has to make the women who do have children seem like they are doing the world some kind of injustice? Women need freedom of choice, and that should go both ways.
Your statement is right on!
Your statement is right on!
Completely Agree!
I think body parts that we have are meant to be used, like teeth are for shewing, eyes are for seeing, legs are for walking, and of course uterus is for baby to develop and grow.
And the appendix is good for…? Your logic is flawed.
lol Basically you’re an idiot. Plenty of people have eyes but are unable to see, plenty of people are unable to walk. Let me get this straight. You think the rape victim is doing the right thing by utilizing her uterus. I repeat – you’re an idiot!
Because having a baby is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY FOR SURVIVAL, like eating and walking and seeing are.
I’m glad I’m getting my uterus removed ASAP. Little bitch has been nothing but trouble for me since I turned 14.
you sound so elementry and uneducated..” i think body parts that we have are meant to be used.”…seriously?
Just because we HAVE it, doesn’t mean we have to USE it!
Yes, but there is a big rift between the different groups. While white women are applauded for choosing their career and lifestyle over reproduction, women of other ethnicity’s are rewarded for procreation and having large families. Our women should consider having children to be one of their greatest and most fulfilling duties, for with out them we would die out as a people.
This is no way meant to imply that women are nothing but baby factories, only that they are blessed with this gift of giving life and should make full use of it.
i agree with her. i don’t want kids and NEVER have.
She’s great. That’s great! There’s no reason to judge anyone at all for the choices they make in their life. If you choose not to get married, you’re not “weird”. If you choose not to have children that doesn’t make you any less of a woman.
Because that means that the only thing that defines us as women is that we have babies, and that, my friends, just cannot happen. You don’t have to be a mother to be a woman. Although you do have to be a woman to be a mother. Hm.
Anyway. Have children if you really want, don’t have them if you don’t want. It’s nobody else’s business. But please: if you’re a redneck or have an IQ of 60, please please please do not have babies.
Thank you.
I’m totally w/ you on the redneck thing. Sadly these are the people who ARE breeding most. Squeezing 5 children into their trailer so that they can get the extra $** in state assistance every month.
Word, Cameron. I’m childfree, as are most of my friends, and couldn’t be happier. I think you’re either into kids or not. I’m not. Couldn’t be less interested in them.
All I have to say is that, I feel really bad for any children that are born from women who choose not to have kids and then, become accidently pregnant
i also don’t want to have kids, at least for now, i’m already turning 30 at the end of this yr but i still don’t want to have kids, i am worried because of society & that i might regret it later (my age is too late in my country, as well as i am concerned about my health so if ever, i dont want to have kids later than 35), i really hope this notion changes & the world changes
my mum doesn’t seem to like kids, nor does she seem to want anyone around (my dad or me), seems like she just had a family bec. it’s the thing to do, she would’ve been a lot happier being an old maid, now it’s us who have to suffer
I will NEVER have kids. And Vera I am starting to think you are a bitter B$%^h. For real. Kids are NOT for everyone, I for one want to TRAVEL and see the world. Not just read about it on some blog. I am SO SICK of women with kids judging me and and giving me dirty looks since I am without kids, please under it all I think they are mostly JEALOUS. I spend my money on myself and my vacations and my dogs, I have a wonderful career and a supportive boyfriend and family. A kid would be a complete burden to me and it would unhinge all the plans I have made for my life. More people need to step back and realize how many kids there already are on this planet, not everyone needs one. And to make matters worse about 60% of pregnancies are UNPLANNED so all you mothers need to step off your high horses and face the fact that at least 1 of your kids was completely unplanned. Some people can sacrifice their lives for kids and some cannot, to me most women I meet with kids were just too lazy to make any real plans so they took the easy way out and had kids. Once the kids are gone and their marriage is in shambles they will look back on their life of NOTHING and realize the only time they got on a plane was on their honeymoon or the family vacation to Disney World. I am done biting my tongue for mothers who think they are better then us non moms, I see thru all the b.s. Sure being a mom is great but I know deep down MOST of you wish you had the money, time and freedom to find out what really makes YOU happy. And one more thing when I ask a mother what ‘they do’ and they answer with ‘I’m a mom and a wife’ it makes me gag. I didn’t ask who you are to your husband and kids I asked WHO YOU ARE. They never have an answer for that cuz they just start to play the part. Its quite depressing, my sister in law (with a kid) is the one who brought this up. No one asks her how she is they are always asking about her kid and her husband. Must suck to pop one out and become invisible.
You’re a bitter, unhappy person, aren’t you? You sound like it.
You speak like you’ve met every mother in the world when it really looks like you have met the smallest group of narrow-minded mothers. You are ridiculous with all your generalizations and excuses and comments on what it is to be a mother even though you know nothing whatsoever. It is not impossible to be a mother, have an identity, have a successful career (I’m sure a mother had her hand in the majority of the products you use on a regular basis) travel, have money, dogs and a happy husband. Your possible inability to handle the ‘burden’ is not our fault, it would be yours. Do all mothers (of adoptive, incidental and planned children) a favor and get over yourself. Those mothers you haven’t spoken to but speak of probably don’t care one way or another about you using your uterus.
I have all of that stuff you mentioned at the beginning, and i have a kid. Why do people think that you can’t travel and see the world with a kid? My son is 20 months and we live 2 hours away from France. We see everything, but he hasn’t seen America yet. That is the most exciting traveling we are doing soon.
ok, so what if a woman that did not want children changes her mind when she is older….happens all the time, and then you end up with the 55 yr old and pregnant with triplets freakshows….or the 60 year old who adopts babies from China….lovely! So good for you if you don’t want kids, but don’t come whining in 20 years when you’re lonely and too old to conceive!
So, you should have a child that you don’t want at 25 just in case you want one when you’re older? And who says that I’m going to be lonely at 55 or 60? Not having children does not mean that a woman will be alone.
I totally judge married couples that are childless by choice! I think they are very selfish! How can you not be; obviously having a baby would cramp their style, so to me that is very egocentric. I feel truly sorry for parents of people like that. If it weren’t for their parents, these egomaniacs would have never even been on this earth….
you are a loser. people are selfish for not wanting to blast out kids? did you ever think it could be financial reasons? or how about someone who was abused and does not want to repeat the cycle with their own children. you judmental freak. you probably have 5 kids on welfare so all us “childless by chocie” people have to pay for them. now talk about selfish people – lets talk about the woman that have 5+ kids by 5 different men sucking our system and our wallet dry. they dont even take care of their kids who grow up angry and now fill our jails because they are the majority of the criminals of this world – oh wait, but at least their parents where not selfish for not having them. yeah right…
you are pathetic! who are you to judge ?! It’s none of your business what someone wants in life. Obviously you have very little going on in your life to worry about women without kids. Or your bitter that you did choose to have kids, and now you are stuck with them till they grow up!! And you know what ? call me selfish, call me whatever you want – like I would care…
i have been with same guy for 15 years now, got married 10 years ago. We don’t have any children and guess what… we’re happy. We did not get married to have children. Last time I checked, you can have children without being married, non?
What’s the problem with being in a relationship and not having children – I just don’t get it. Starting with my family and ending up with some random 27 year old cosmetician (no tip for her!!!) I get criticized for being 32 and not having or planning to have any children. What’s your problem people? Me and my hubby like our life, our relationship and we feel ‘complete’ (as cheesy as this sounds). Isn’t it our right to choose our lifestyle? Just like I don’t go on commenting on other’s choice of having children – again, a lifestyle choice.
You call us “egocentric” and “egomaniacs”. Why? So, “Narcissus Goldmund”, could you please elaborate – logically – what is your problem? Just curious… And as a side note – arguments invoking God’s will and such will be only laughed at.
I find women with children to be generally rude to women that do not have children, like when I am out shopping at the grocery and other stores. They seem to think they have more importance and tend to let their children do as they please, walking and running into others, and then cutting people off with their carts, blocking aisles, etc.. While this is a generalization, it happens to me more often than not and leads me to believe that many women do look down on women (around their age) who don’t have kids- as if they do not have the same rights, or something like that…just my perception…..
You are just a person at a grocery store being pushed around by idiots…not by mothers with their children. If they were truly judging you for not having children, they would ask you if you have children [that aren't with you in the store] before they proceeded to be rude to you. You are taking things the wrong way, and I really hate people like that.
… and how about those days off from work… my kid has the kindergarten graduation – gotta leave early! My kid is sick with a cold – won’t come in today! My kid needs this and that and the store closes early today – see ya!
I understand… but i want the same amount of time off. Can I??? Guess what – the answer’s NO. Not fair!
I wish we could just end this once and for all. Life is not all rainbows and unicorns. We will not always agree. We can find common ground. The common ground is that people have choices in life, and judging each other for those choices is a waste of time. If we are all to express opinions than you must accept that people’s opinions will vary from yours. Having or not having a child is a decision and I applaud anyone for planning one way or the other.
Does she want a pat on the back? It’s a choice. Just like women decide to have them don’t get pats on the back neither does a woman who doesn’t. You made a choice, wonderful.
Your comment is flawed. Go look up the appendix, genius.
You are an idiot for using rape to prove a point on the usefulness of the uterus. Did you really think that made sense?
My personal belief is that, even life’s tragedies are intended to result in some greater purpose. Rape is a horrible thing. But, that child probably has a purpose in life. If the mother does not want it, someone else does. Terminataing a rape induced pregnancy may be the easiest thing for someone’s life at the time, but it wont be the decision that brings peace later in life.
For those women who desire to rear children, and are unable, this is an opportunity to help others, by means of something tragic. WHat an incredible self-fsacrifice of those who choose to cary a child for someone who will ove it and give it a wonderful love filled life.
it seem that women that are childless by choice are so bitter and angry….you’re mad at the world (being overpopulated, we have too many criminals, poverty, war, welfare, starving unwanted children, we mothers are rude and mean to you etc etc)….I mean look at anonymous 6:24 rant about how wonderful her life is, but all I see is full of hate. There’s nothing wrong with not having children and there’s nothing wrong with having children either….and if the world was so horrible then do yourself a favor and….well you know the rest.
If Cameron doesn’t want to be judged by not having children, then she shouldn’t judge women that do. She started an arument that needn’t be started for no reason.
I never wanted to have kids…I was happy! I got one from the wrong man in the wrong time in the wrong moment…I love my child, and I do everything that is possible to make him happy and to have everything that he needs… but i know that I could be happier without all the problem that I have now and since he was born if I decided to take another option in that time.
Cameron is totally right.I do not have kids, and its because I have not found the right guy to have them with however, my friends who have kids dont call back,facebook back, they dont tweet back or even want to meet for brunch anymore. I dont get invited to bbq’s or cocktail parties anymore. There is always some excuse with my friends who have kids. The other day I went to my friends facebook and she was busy chatting to her other friends who have kids but couldnt reply to an email I sent a month ago. I have noticed this with 90% of my friends who have kids so I just delete their emails and phone numbers from my phone(I started doing this, this year I got tired of a one sided relationship). Its sad especially I have known some of them for over 10yrs but since I have no kids I guess we have absolutely nothing in common. so they dont call back. However, they always bl00dy send me invites to to their birthday parties…I guess they need another expensive present eh!!!! Thank gad I have a sucessful career to keep me entertained
see this is quiet funny cause i have the exact opposite problem…i had my kids young when i was 17 then at 18 but i don’t have a life outside of my family life cause my friends i guess they think i don’t have time to be a 23yo as well as have my kids my friends ditched me when i got pregnant because they were living their lives which i’m totally fine with but it would be nice for them to meet me for lunch or if they go out to invite me…just the other week a couple of mates of mine were going to the movies and i was told i wasn’t invited cause i would’ve had the kids…like what i can’t get them baby sat? don’t get me wrong i love my kids and i can honestly see where women are coming from when they say they don’t want kids but maybe they should see where these mums are coming from too…i don’t do anything with my life cause my friends don’t have time for me i want my kids but i want a life outside of just being a mum i actually and i never thought i’d be one to do it but i chose NOT to get pregnant as was planned in Feb because i jsut didn’t feel that i wanted another baby it killed me at the time cause i’m all about the babies but i feel now that that was the best choice for me….i think there are unfair comments coming from both sides women who don’t want kids saying that the world is over populated or we should adopt someone elses neglected child instead of having our own that’s hurtful but then so is being called selfish for not wanting a baby Am i selfish for not wanting another baby or wanting to have time to be a 23yo girl? yeah i probably am so what that’s my life and no-one else has to live with my decisions just like i’m not affected by others chocices to have kids or not
I think its a personal decision, ther are many men and women who realize the commitment and time it takes to be a GOOD parent. there are so many people who have the kids for selfish reasons (too keep a man, fulfill their own lives or not to work) so to each his own.
i am 34 years old and do not have any children yet…i plan to have (and hope for) one child…however, i hate that so many people in society would freak if i said that i did not want any. there are so many neglected children and many people are shitty parents – probably the same ones who judge Cameron and other childless women!!! so weird, they should mind their own damn business!!!
I can totally relate to her not wanting to have kids. I got pregnant at nineteen with my husband and had a child. While I love my kid now, pregnancy was the worst nightmare of my life and I would never again want to relive the experience! There were endless office checkups, the same questions being asked over and over by nurses and doctors, the immense pain and suffering of just BEING pregnant, (difficulty walking, standing, moving, breathing, eating, living…), not to mention I almost died while in labor. I totally had no privacy while being pregnant and the nurses asked the same questions over and over. It was a nightmare for me, not to mention that I never was, and still am not, the type of person who loves kids and all that stuff. They always have snot on their nose, are make messes, are loud and difficult to deal with and just generally a pain. Having kids is the most difficult job there is, not to mention very expensive and time-consuming!
Here is MY opinion, you would not prevent me sharing my opinion, right? After all, YOU have an opinion.
Okay, everyone has it wrong. What we need is MORE WHITE CHILDREN. Let’s teach the 3rd world to cut back on breeding. Imagine, a world with less blacks, muslims etc. . . The less the better.
Now imagine this same world with BILLIONS of beautiful and intelligent white children. True paradise.
Before you call me a racist, keep in mind that Racist = I am proud to be white. (My viewpoint)
Agree with you AJB-
Whites are being overtaken at an alarming rate. And yes, most third-world countries have food shortages and outright famines. New babies have to eat too, and when the mother doesn’t get enough nutrition, no milk. Stop over-sexing until you have enough food to feed a dog kennel.
AJB- You make a lot of valid points. Unpopular, but valid none the less. I applaud you for your candor on such a topic. Yes we enable these third worlders by sending humanitarian aid the same way we enable our own welfare recipients here in the Western world. We need to enact legislation stating that to receive aid/welfare one must under go temporary sterilization while receiving the assistance. Want another child?…be able to support it.
I for one do not feel I should be forced through taxes to support others children. Many use their children as a means of income.
I have one biological child. Raising her has enriched my life. I also have a great career and ample resources. I considered other choices: adoption, no children, etc. I made the choice that was a good fit for me. If I decide to add another human to my family it’ll be through adoption. Once again, that’s just what works for me.
For the most part I don’t give a damn about other people’s choices just as I don’t give a damn about sexual orientation or religion. Unless it becomes hateful…
As for having children, I’ve read some ill advised rhetoric from both sides. The thing is, the really hately stuff seems to be coming from a subpopulation of the childfree crowd. I stumbled across a website/board and it was saturated with hate. Children were called crotchfruit. Mothers were called moos and breeders. The posts did nothing but mock women who have chosen to reproduce and parent. It was way way wayyyyyy over the top.
Those contributors were about as bad as the nasty homophobe preachers who tell their congregation gays are molestors or the pro-lifers who shout out at young women walking into abortion clinics that they’re going to burn in hell.
It’s colored my reaction when I hear ‘childfree’. Where I never paused before I now stop and wonder if the person is as verbally violent and hateful as those who posted to that particular board.
It isn’t race. It’s poverty. The problems you think are caused by blacks and muslims/arabs are caused by poverty. They aren’t caused by skin color, nose width or hair texture.
I can’t stand kids. I like adults and teens.
As for the earlier discussion on here regarding that every organ has a use and therefore it must be used, the appendix (as mentioned by someone earlier quite correctly) has no use. The appendix is a remnant from our evolutionary development from apes, and yes, apes have it and it has a use for them, but we no longer have a use for ours because we are evolved beings, so it sits there useless, a reminder of our evolution.
Here’s what wiki says about it: “The most common explanation is that the human appendix is a vestigial structure which does absolutely nothing for the body.” //en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vermiform_appendix
People who don’t like kids shouldn’t have any. Hurrah for Cameron and all those women who admit they don’t want any.
I Knew at a young age that I probably was not going to be a parent, and 30 years later, I am happy that I am still child free. Some women get downright hostile by my truthful admission of not wanting to be a parent, and can not understand that I can say ” I love children, but do not care to have any of my own” without remorse. They see it as flaunting my freedom, which is simply a perception based on what they want for themselves, and won’t admit it.
I have been accused of being selfish, and incomplete as a women, and I quickly remind them that getting pregnant and having a child does not make anyone a mother/parent.
They have gone through a physiological function, as all species on this planet do when they re-produce.
How special can motherhood be when one is compelled to starve, beat, neglect and disable their offspring because they can’t handle the responsibility.
No, I am not saying that this is what I would do, but it is a truthful and very current example of what happens when one is not emotionally, finacially or physically capable of raising another human being. Look at the news!
Many women I know had no idea how difficult thier life would become after having a child. Their fantasy smashed to bits by the reality of what it actually means to be responsible for a child. Of course this is not the case for every women, But I also know that alot of women will not admit their regret because they are afraid it will make them look like a horrible person.
Motherhood should not be a basis in which to judge a womans worth.
If you feel compelled to have children, at least do a reality check, look at yourself in an honest, non judgemental way and consider the child who will have no choices once they are here.
AJB I think its funny how you have tried to spread your White Nationalist/ Raciest views on here. People like you love to weave in race with anything you possibly can. Let me tell you what is even funnier. You put a link on lovely stormfront.org to this page hoping all your buddies would get on here and help start a flame war. Oh and here is the link if anyone is interested. http://www.stormfront.org/forum/showthread.php?t=618915
Now back on topic. I am 24 my husband is 31. We do not have children and this August we will be celebrating our 7 year wedding anniversary. It’s not that I don’t want to have them its just that I cant. I have a fertility problem called PCOS and it is making it ever so difficult to have a baby. We have been trying for so long, sometimes I honestly don’t know if I even want to have kids anymore. I can understand why someone wouldn’t want to have them and I can also understand how strong the urge to have them can be. When I get to watch my nephews sometimes I cant wait until I can take them back to my sisters and thank god I don’t have to deal with them all the time. Other times I don’t want to take them back at all. The pressure to have kids from his side of the family can be unbearable sometimes. Always asking so when are you going to have us some grandbabies to carry on the family name. Oh I don’t know why don’t you ask my ovaries what the hold up is.
I don’t understand where all of this resentment from some of the mothers and CF ladies are coming from. Why spend so much energy on something you can not control which is each others decisions in life. If you want to have kids great have them, cherish them, and be thankful because alot of women are not able to be a birth mom. If you don’t want to have kids then don’t. Who cares what society says its your body and your life. You are the only person who knows if you are ready and capable to be a good parent and who cares what anyone else says.
I want to encourage all anti-whites to buy multiple houses, sports cars, and golf resort packages right now, and definitely not have any more kids. I won’t judge you.
It’s only White woman who don’t want children, which is why Whites have gone from being 30% of the world’s population at the beginning of the 20th century, to about 7% now, and will be virtually gone by the end of this century.
If you hate cars and computers, movies, TVs and radios, highways, electricity and indoor plumbing, you should be rejoicing but for the people of the 22nd century it will suck bigtime.
Standards of living will drop dramatically with the passing of the Europeans peoples, look at present day Haiti, Kenya, and Detroit for examples.
Thanks, selfish White women. I hope your reincarnated selves suffer every bit as much as what you deserve.
I have noticed this with my coworkers, too. I tend to be left out of gatherings because I don’t have kids. I guess I can see their reasoning though because when I do get invited all they talk about are their children, and if I try to change the topic it always seems to lead back to “mom talk.” It makes it feel like we don’t have anything in common, even though it is hard to learn if we do when they can’t seem to talk about anything else.
Has anyone got details about Freelotto.com in the USA? I think they are fake. But I still want to confirm. How can a lottery really give away big prizes if they don’t get any money selling tickets? I don’t understand the logic.
I will say this. I think you are 100% right. As a mother myself, one of the first questions I usually ask when I am getting to know someone is “do you have kids?” Not to put that person on the spot, but just as a topic of conversation. If that person says “no”, then I ask about their lives, work, interests, etc.
I have kids and never really wanted to but didn’t dismiss the idea all together/ I realise how much hard work it is and if I never had any kids I really wouldn’t have been that broken over it. The society judges women like that and really it is only an option just like everything else in the world.
Right on the money! Just like people that got a brain but decided not to use it… “got a uterus – gotta use it”… shees.