Update: Let The Spanking Debate Begin - Kate Gosselin Caught Hitting Her Daughter
JUN 17, 2009 AT 01:05 PM
To hit or not to hit - that is the question. Seems like 'Jon and Kate Plus 8' mommy Kate Gosselin can't stay out of controversy. Imagine what it would be like if the paparazzi were following all of our every moves. It must be so trying.
But I suppose that is what you sign up for these days once you enter into a reality show contract.
Which side are you on with this never ending debate? Is spanking ever acceptable?
ONTD
Update: Kate issued a statement to Life & Style magazine in response to these photos.
Whether the paparazzi are there or not, I am a mother first. I love my
children and when they misbehave, I discipline them as I deem
appropriate for the situation."
Let the debate continue...
Read more about: Kate Gosselin, Reality Shows
NEVER! just look at the terror on that child's face. How can hitting your child ever, ever be OK? I have two children and I've never, ever spanked them and never will.
And I can see your children growing up to believe that nobody can punish them for what they do . . . I have five children and purposely have rasied them all differently and let me tell you ... My un-spanked child is the worst as far as behavior and discipline, at what point do you give in to your child and give them the power to dictate what they will do or not.
Example: Child grabs an item they are not to have, you yell and say "don't touch it, turn around child grabs it, take it from the child and tell them to go in the corner, child says no and grabs item again, you take item again and walk the child to "time out", walk away child gets up walks back into other room, grabs object again . . . Child says no and listens to nothing you say . . . why? causee there is not that point where the child has no choice but to suffer consequences. THE SPANKING!!!
My girls who are 3 and four are constantly commented on how well they behave, and all daddy has to do is give them that look and they know they are doing wrong and if they don't stop, apologize for doing what they know is wrong and act right, there butt will end up hurting.
I don't beat my children, My oldest son I paddled once with a board when he was young, from that point on, I have never had to discipline since.
My experience working with children and teens, who have developed into easrly aged adults . . . The children who have not recieved a spanking are the most disrespectful, arrogant, "untouchable" attitude punks, I've ever known. These are the same type of children who end up shooting up a school house, they are not taught about respect for others, we don't always get what we want, we have punishments to suffer that are beyond or choice and control. They need to learn that at some point they are going to disrespect the wrong person and get something they may not be prepared for. Everyone loves my girls and my oldest boy, the others aren't so liked among my friends and family my kids range from 14-3, I have spent years working in a child-adolescent-young adult, psychology field working with ages 2-26
Spare the rod, spoil the child . . .
But there is a fine line that seperates discipline and abuse and that is where the problem lies, Abuse is somthing that needs to be regulated on a case by case basis, because if I smacked my childs rear end because they tried to burn their sibling, is this acceptable to safe the sibling life, or someone else's in the future.
I've been doing numerous study cases where I recommend spanking to a parent with an unruly child, and believe it or not, 6 months into it, the child has a 180 degree change in attitude
Well, I don't know if I would have used my own kids as an experiment but you make some very valid points. I too believe that you need that end of the line this is going to cause you physical pain. The normal child only needs one or two and they've got it. My kids are in their 20's and I can still stop them in their tracks with a look. They received spankings (not beatings) when they were younger. I don't believe I ever needed to spank after the age of 7. Boundaries set at a young age last a lifetime.
I was raised by a single mother who turned to regular spankings to raise myself and my twin sister. She knew exactly where to hit and how so no teacher would know. We lived in a condo, and the next door neighbors never said a word even though they could hear everything. Every psychologist I've ever been to has told me that my mother never once crossed the line, and I disagree.
You may not think hitting your child is bad, but a judge thought it was bad enough to let me emancipate myself at age 15. It has certainly stayed with me though. The last time I saw a child get hit I ended up sobbing in a public restroom for 30 minutes. Think about the long term effects, it isn't worth it.
1195 points
What your mother did obviously wasn't just a spank... if it was hard enough to leave a mark she was straight up hitting the crap out of you. There is a difference. I was spanked as a kid but it was just one swift thwap on the bum and never ever ever hard enough to leave a mark. Just hard enough to get my attention. I know many many many people that were spanked as kids, including me, and there are no lasting longterm effects. However, if my mum had hit me hard enough to leave a mark and did it repetitively then I'm sure I'd have some internal issues.
Once in a while it's okay to give your kid a little slap on the butt. But if your mother beat you so much that your neighbors heard, those psychiatrists are definitely wrong, and she definitely crossed the line. You shouldn't just go straight to beating a child. You shouldn't beat a child at all. Warn the child at least twice, if they don't stop spank the butt. Spanking is okay. Beating is not.
long term effect is worth it... as long as the child isnt bruised and it isnt to hard its fine
it sounds to me that your mother was not spanking you. all the mothers on here that are saying they agree with spanking are actually refering to spanking. it seems your mother was abusing you and yes that is wrong. i was spanked as a child or so my parents say. i vegly remember getting hit.
you make me so sick... i think i need to throw uuu......
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ok now, that's better.
spanking your child just shows your weakness and your unability to deal with the situation like a mature person.
you always have a choice.
you can be strong without showing your muscles.
You are completely wrong. I understand where you are coming from though.
Beating a child is horrible and often leads to confusion in the future such as being unconfident in themselves, and loving others of the same sex. Once in a while a pat on the butt is okay. Just don't over do it.
You are right i fully agree that spanking is perfectly ok after you have tried to reason with a child who chooses to not listen and continue to push the boundaires. Soaking does not beating the crap out of or bruising or abusing the child no that is wrong however to spank a child is not and has never been imo something wrong. Children today ahve almost no respect for their elders and no respect for their parents and are given far too much power, they can call the cops if the get hit, abort a child without parents consent, get given sex education far beyond their years are asked to drive so early, things that they don't know the full consequences of. I was smaked as a child and it never hurt me at the time off course i cried and hated my mom and dad that is normal but as an adult i fully respect that course of action, it stopped me from repeating the same act and made me think a little beofer o did something, and learned to have a healthy respect for my parents
1295 points
I think you have some valid concerns, but more times than not, spanking is not the only answer. What it really boils down to is how much time and patience does the parent have, and what are really the root causes for the behavior?
Don't have time to worry about all that? You shouldn't be a parent. Often-times overwhelmed parents feel as if they're being victimized by their children's behaviors. Very rarely does a parent stop and see what is truly causing the behavior – and that maybe they could have a major part in it (gasp!). And I'm not talking about the "I need a nap/snack/every day cranky" type stuff. Who has the time or intelligence these days to actually RAISE their children? Now, I have two children of my own, I am a working mother, and I very often struggle with finding that last shred of patience needed to make it through a day with my children without yelling or tears.
But whenever my children experience behavioral changes, for the bad, I ask myself: What are we doing that's different? What has changed, is this just normal "kid stuff", or is this reactionary behavior manifesting itself?
Telling a parent to spank a child that is unruly, more times than not, is like giving the parent permission to take the lazy way out of being a parent. Most children are not born "disturbed" or "unruly", they become that way due to their environment – an environment where more than likely they are not being watched carefully enough, the parents work too much, the level of expectation as to the child’s capabilities (both mentally and physically) is overblown, the marriage is in trouble and/or finances are tight, and the parent’s themselves sorely lack in communications skills. Often times, parents who spank do it without thinking first, and use it as a technique of fear, not discipline. It is often times done in a moment of high stress and frustration, and actually teaches the child very little about what was WRONG with their behavior. My parents had a drawer full of "tools" they used for spanking. Some with holes drilled into them, an assortment of belts, a couple of whittled down 2x4’s. My step-father had a hard day at work and instead of reasoning through whatever chaos was happening around us, he'd open up the drawer and let his arm fly. Did we behave any better? Nope, we just kept on doing the same stuff. If pain is the only motivating factor to encourage good behavior, and pain is temporary, where is the REAL incentive to behave?
Another thing to consider - a child's body is much more fragile than an adult’s. How the hell do you know you're not doing it too hard? Parents/adults are not perfect, they don't always use self-restraint - my mother had to pull my step-father off of my brother many times because he couldn't stop himself. He needed to release something. He was stressed out, over-worked, had more responsibilities than he could handle, and couldn't see past his OWN frustration long enough to do the kind of RESPONSIBLE parenting that actually raises decent human beings.
My brother now beats his children the same way, and they are THE BRATTIEST, unstable, loud-mouthed, misbehaved, physically raucous children you'll see in public. It’s really quite embarrassing to be seen with them. So there…it can work both ways, can’t it? You communicate with your children like apes - they'll probably act like it. And just because you're the grown up, and they're the underlings, doesn't make it OK.
I also want to add, I HAVE spanked my own child. Once. He hauled off and kicked my 9-month old daughter in the mouth simply because she was “in his way”. He didn't know any better, he was testing a new emotion obviously. When I confronted him on it, he laughed as if he didn't know how to feel. I saw red after that! I gave him three firm swats on the butt and a four minute time out. I almost cried, I finally understood what it meant - "This'll hurt me more than it'll hurt you." But I couldn't stand to see my child laugh at such unacceptable human interaction. What hypocrisy huh? Don't hit. So why did I do it?
I felt that surge of guilt coming up, but I didn't let him see it. I told him that it hurts your heart to hurt another human being - or IT SHOULD. I told him it hurt my heart to hit him and it should hurt his heart to have hurt his sister. He looked at his sister's fat lip and then started to cry. He was four at the time. And he hasn't hit anyone since.
The moral? I didn't JUST spank my child, and I didn't walk away assuming I'd put fear into him and that was the answer to the problem.
I understand the dilemma now. This is the generation of entitlement - of hardly any rules and instant gratification. ADD is running rampant. So who's to blame? Is hitting/spanking the answer? Is not doing it the answer?
Turn off your TV, computer, and you're phones, take a day off from work and TALK to them…even if they’re only three. Be their teachers, set the example. I understand the futility of reasoning with a small child, but think before you act…don’t just react. And for the love of God - LIGHTEN UP! And now, this hippy has left the building. - Mandi
wow you turn your kids into a corporal punishment experiment and you hit them! I can see a parent of the year award in your future-what an idiot
i sooooooooooooooooo agree with u. i agree with every single word u say im only 15 and i wouldent no about parenting but i no that wen my parents disciplined me i never did wrong again.... and those snotty nosed "smart ass" kids that never have bin disciplined by a spanking have nooo respect what so ever... and i think people should layoff kate and let her parent the way she wants to as long as shes not beating the crap out of her child... and only disciplining her child lay off!!!
i totally agree with you. i am a young mother of 3 all under 3. and my husbands parents do not believe in spanking and feel that i am harming the child mentally.
your seniero also made me think. If you look at back in time when teachers were allowed to swat the kids with a ruler kids were respectful of the teacher. School kids are so misbehaved and disrespectful nowadays. i say go back to the ruler and the world would take a turn for the better.
Your parenting skills suck!!!! It is ok to spank your child, so they can learn from their mistakes. Kate Gosslin has 8 children and punishing them all isn't always going to work. SPANK EM!!! But never beat em!!
oh please....and I bet your kids were brats...there is terror on her face, cause she was doing something she was told not to do ,and knew she was going to be punished...which is the lesson....you people and your time outs...that's why there are so many kids out there with no idea of consequences....they didn't have any growing up. Spanking is not the same thing as abuse, and a good parent knows the difference. Her kids, her choice.
I prefer that my children obey out of respect not fear therefor I do not hit them. Play the semantics game all you want but spanking is still hitting
i spank my kids when they are out of control! i dont believe of just "talking to them or time out" that DOESNT WORK! if they disrespect you or do not listen you bet your butt they get the belt! i cant stand kate shes a tramp but the kid must've done something to piss her off. And that is no ones business of how she disciplines her kids!
of course her face looks upset, she did something wrong, and her mother caught it...so she is getting a spank, she isnt beating her child, she is correcting her...there is a difference in being hit, on the face, in the head etc. but a spank on the bottom...not going to damage the child.
I truly disagree with you. I would like to see your children compared to a child with discipline in their lives. You cannot shelter your children to think they can do no wrong. It seems easy for you to comment on Kate Gosselin, but you should keep your comments to yourself as you do not seem to know what the real world is all about.
i'm 21 and have a 2year old this is what i have to say according to my experience as a mom and a child while growing up. I'm on both sides, you can spank however it should be done with love not out of stress and anger. You should first ground the child if they don't listen then go to second step of spanking. you should see the look in her face she's stressed and should not be taken out on the kids. well that's my point of view. Sometimes us mothers need to take a time out, and ask god for patience.
That is why you kids are bad ass! She did nothing wrong..she didn't take it far at all!
That is why you kids are bad ass! She did nothing wrong..she didn't take it far at all!
well your kids must be angels but if you had 8 of them it might be a diffrent story
29686 points
I wanted to say maybe she was swatting a bee or some flying insect or something innocent but that second shot is worth a thousand words (and tears). :(
remember----just like a kid who wants a toy that the parent can't buy, the kid will make a waterworks scene right there in front of everybody to make the parent look bad.
and thats when you walk out of the store and give them and ass whooping for pulling that at the store!
haha funny the way u say it... but true..
i agree!!! i so completly agree with you!!
i agree all the way
So what? Tell me what mother has not spanked their child? I don't believe in hitting a child, I spanked my child once when he was little, he stole something and I didn't agree. I've never hit him again since. We can't judge her, I'm 100% sure, our parents spanked us and we have spanked our kids. There is a big difference from spanking and physical abuse. They are people out there that will use this to grill Kate and try to take her kids.
2610 points
I can 100% say my mum never hit me, or my brother . I have a few friends who were hit when they were little and they think it will be fine for them to smack ( or spank as you say in the US)their child. They see nothing wrong with it, however they are all a little selfish and quite hot tempered. My bro and I are pretty laid back.
You say there's a big difference between smacking and physical abuse. I really think that smacking is a form of abuse- the child looks so hurt. Imagine, the person that is your whole world HITTING you as punishment! You would not condone a man to hurt a woman, yet some people see smacking a child as punishment. It's strange. Would you smack your dog for doing something wrong, your co-worker, or another relative??
3110 points
i knew this would be a huge discussion and 77 comments by now stated that! i just wanted to start reading all of them but i feel like these first comments just said it all and showed exactly the two opposite opinions you could have on this. i was hit (spank/smack is just a cover world for that. there is no "good violence".)) by my mom and i sincerely wish i'll be able to never raise my hand against my child when i have one.
good for you you prove to be a rare case where a parent didn't need to exercise this form of discipline. you were protected and sheltered.
however she only spanked her on the bottom not upside the head or over the mouth with a stick or something.
Plenty of moms have never spanked or hit thier kids in any other way-myself included.
YES, kids should get spanked. There are so many spoiled little brats these days who throw a fit when they don't get there way and it carries over into adulthood. example; Reality stars should have been spanked as kids. When I got out of line the paintstick came out and I never did it again
3110 points
i think people who hit their child for "throwing a fit" did things wrong in raising the child quite a bit ago before and should give themselves a spank.
24840 points
Kids throw fits and test the waters. I don't think that means they're a bad parent bc you're child throws a fit as long as it's not a common occurance.
3110 points
i think the previous anonymous i answered to was describing it as a general bad tendence kids nowadays often do i her/his opinion thus i aswered as i did.
missmarnip...you must not have kids.....EVERY CHILD throws some fits. If not, there might be something wrong with the developement of the child. Its part of life...children want things, or want to do things, parents have to decide what can and can't go on, then the kids don't like it and throw a fit. Then they get punished for the fit throwing...its how they learn that they can't have everything they want...
3110 points
and you must be new to this site (and to the english language) b/c i said for over a year straight that i have not given birth to one kid yet. i have just worked with kindergarten kids from 7-16 for years now and am an auntie to my sister's child. it's not always about pushing a child through your birth canal. motherhood, opinions and knowledge isn't EXCLUSIVE to that.
go have a child, be with them all day long, go adopt a child...whatever your right you dont have to carry a child to be a mother, but being and aunt is different from being a mom...let mothers and parents comment to a parenting situation.
655 points
two kids is nothing like having 8 i'd imagine (and seemingly single parenting at that). i don't think disciplining a child is wrong and a single spanking is a far cry from abuse.
1280 points
I agree with you and Anonymous above. I am a mother of an 11-year old boy who is a good, caring, and sweet kid. A large percentage of his great disposition comes from himself, but a portion comes from not being allowed to get away with behaving like a spoiled rotten kid growing up with no repercussions. You know the saying: “spare the rod spoil the child”. I think that in the long run, by disciplining your child you are showing them that you care for him/her. You care how he/she turns out in life. Part of being a good parent is teaching your child early on what is right and wrong and not leaving that up to schools, church, or their friends family.
We would never physically abuse our son, but when he was younger and was learning right from wrong, he was spanked when necessary.
When kids are young, too young to know right from wrong, a spank on the bottom sends a signal that what they just did or the way they just acted was inappropriate. You can't very well reason with a 5 year old, can you? As they get older and you are able to reason with them and they understand, then spanking is no longer necessary.
In our society today there are so many loons that really abuse their children that it creates this hot button issue when you even say spanking, but spanking is not a big deal. If everyone who gets all fired up about the spanking issue channeled that energy around real child abuse, like sexual abuse and neglect perhaps we would be doing some real good in the world
I agree with you. I am a fan of their show and i've never seen one thing that pointed to abuse.
The second picture looks scary...but I am not against spanking, though i never think it should be hard enough to seriously hurt a child or cause them t o fear their parents. I think that sometimes parents do need to use some force. I was spanked lightly as a child and this did not harm me or affect my development negativley.
In the second picture it looks like she is grabbed her daughter as if she was shaking her :(
2660 points
This. I don't think spanking is a big deal if it's a sole episode & it doesn't have to hurt & i highly doubt anyone will be traumatized because of that. But the 2nd pic disturbed me more because she looks like she's about to shake the kid.
13675 points
Such a touchy subject. Just like the comment above, I want to know what adult hasn't been spanked as a child. I think that if it is absolutely needed, it may be OK. Timeouts don't always work. Some children are bolder than others. I feel bad that this has gotten out about Kate because you can obviously tell from the picture that a pap was stalked out in front of her house. I would like to know how any mother of 8 wouldn't smack one of their kids butts, a lot of the kids feed of one another and it can get to be too much....in my humble opinion.
I'm an adult, I was never spanked as a child.
Well good for you, want a cookie?
24840 points
I think America needs to let parents do more parenting. Kids are getting so rude and ignorant. I use to be heavy set against spanking. My daughter never needed it. Then I had a son. I tried everything in the book. He is wild and free willed. The only way I can get him to come back down to Earth is a swat on the butt. They're very rare and don't even induce tears, but it let's him know I mean business.
You scare me.
you are scared because you live in a bubble and are sheltered
and you scare me....i hope you do not have kids
I agree. Once the government started telling us how to raise our kids, more kids are out of control. I might have been spanked once when I was a child but the knowledge that I COULD be, kept me from trying too many things that I knew would result in that kind of consequence.
2660 points
i agree. my daughter hasn't been spanked yet & she's pretty calm, but it only takes me to ask her hand (to slap it lightly, of course) & she already knows i'm not kidding about whatever i'm addressing.
when i attended school the teachers still used a paddle (ugh, thankfully this stopped) & as far as i know, no one's hand fell off.
1280 points
You said: think America needs to let parents do more parenting. Kids are getting so rude and ignorant
I couldn't agree more! Take ownership of your children and stop expecting the teachers, the coaches and the churches to do your dirty work!!
3295 points
I agree you 100%!! I think that if more parents would spank their children - - - SPANK, not beat!- - - -that we wouldn't have the problems we have now. I used to get spanked when I was little, it didn't hurt physically, but it did embaress me and I understood not to be bad again. I belive had my parents not spanked me when I was younger, I wouldnt have ended up being a good responsible adult like I am now.
The government should worry about the dam economy instead of worrying about parents raising their own children!!!
3110 points
children aren't owned by adults and children of today are people who build/destroy economy tomorrow. if i were the economy i would BEG someone to guide parents of today what to do.
6960 points
My mom was a single parent with four kids. She had a paddle to spank us with and I think that was actually the best way to learn not to do something wrong. Believe me, we really thought before we acted! We all thank her to this day for being so strict with us. Spanking is good for kids (granted not abusive spanking, but a regular spanking, absolutely). Too many kids are spoiled today because parents are too lax with discipline. I'd like to pull some of the parents I see aside and tell them that if they actually did discipline their kids, they might start listening to them as a parent. Parents aren't meant to be friends with their kids, they are meant to be parents (at least when they're young, as adults... oh yeah, definitely!) And no, I'm not condoning child abuse, I just think that parents are too easy on their kids now and then they wonder what they're doing wrong...
THIS.
I don't think most of these people understand that spanking is not akin to physical abuse. I had more verbal abuse than I cared to deal with in my childhood and that's stuck with me way more than the 10-15 times I got spanked for being bad. And that ended once I got older.
1280 points
That sucks. I am sorry for you! I hope you have risen above it.
Verbal abuse can be far worse than physical abuse in some cases.
1280 points
You said it perfectly!!!
If you watched the show before they moved to the new house, there were timeout spots all over their old house - corner near front door, steps in the garage, etc. This must have been something serious for her to spank HER child. These pictures don't tell the whole story.
Leah was blowing on a whistle and Kate couldn't hear while talking on her cell phone.
How do you know what Leah was doing? Nobody seems to know what that child did to get a spanking. What we need to be talking about is the stalkers with cameras standing outside their property?
It's never ok to hit. It teaches your child to use violence to get your point across or that it's ok to loose controll and resort to violence. No-ones perfect, but this is parenting 101.
Gimme a break! We're not talking a "beating" here, we're talking about just popping one's backside.
I think we are talking about a beating here. Look at the kids face, if it was just a pop on the butt, the kid wouldn't be crying that hard. Check out the arm grabbing. To anyone who want's to use a pop on the butt; before doing it count to five first. I would bet after counting you would not think it was the best way to get your point across. It's just easier than putting the time in to correct your child properly. People who say time outs dont work, aren't doing it correctly. The parents usually give up too easily. No-one says parenting is easy. It's a lot of work and it is tempting to take the easy way out.
My parents also spanked me, i'm not damaged because of it and it was effective in making me really think about what i was doing. My parents also smoked like chimneys around us, doesnt mean it's ok to smoke around my kids. We didn't wear seatbelts or bike helmets either (going on and on) We should learn from the past.
Please. You obviously don't have kids. Small children squirm and they're dramatic. She wasn't beating her..didn't you notice the open hand in the picture??? Sometimes, you can count to 45 and it's not enough time. By then, your child has jumped over the back of the couch and broken his/her arm or darted out in from of a car because they don't want to obey. It's easy to judge when you don't have the experience of being a parent.
Exactly. My middle child tells me he's DYING of hunger when he wants a snack. Complete with dramatic back of the hand to the forehead and dropping to the knees. Kids=drama.
I have 4 kids ages 18, 16, 15 & 7. They are all very well adjusted, none of them have ever broken anything by trying to run away. When i speak to them (even when they were toddlers), they generally listen. If they didn't and ran away, i would simply pick them up, place them in time out and continue the conversation when they were done.
My oldest 3 would sometimes triple team me, going in 3 different directions. It was stressful and very annoying. The easy thing to do would have been to "spank" all of them and send them off to thier rooms to think about what they've done. However, I know (from my own upbringing) that they would only think about how to do what they want, WITHOUT getting caught.
Again, If you are close enough to your child that is darting in front of a car to spank them, why wouldn't you just pick them up?????
3110 points
thumbs up for this! i was teaching at a kindergarten and 8 kids are nothing against 25! and it IS hardwork NOT to take a quick solution by scaring a child with a smack! i don't understand why most adults who have been hit always defend hitting/smacking and say that they themselves "turn out fine WITH being hitted as a child". we are so not fine.
6960 points
It's definitely not beating! Are you kidding, I know that I cried more from the anticipation of getting spanked as a kids than the actual action of getting spanked. People are rushing to judgments way too fast on this one!
24840 points
Do you have children? My son cries like that when he gets his nightly book taken away. Which is his punishment when he misbehaves. We used 1,2,3...Magic. He stays there until the timer goes off and is usually misbehaving again within a couple of minutes.
24840 points
P.S. It looks more like Kate has a firm hold on her becuase the child is slanted most likely getting ready to toss herself on the ground. It doesn't look like she's abusively holding the child or even applying pressure to the arm other than to support the child.
Not true. I was spanked as a child when I misbehaved and by no means do i think violence and loosing control is a way to get a point across.
No, it's psycho-babble nonsense thought up by someone who didn't have kids. I was spanked, I spank. My siblings and I turned out fine, my kids are happy, well-adjusted and WELL BEHAVED. If more parents spanked, their kids would respect them and society as a whole might be decent once again. Things went downhill when that sort of drivel started being preached. Pop the kid on the butt, get their attention, get down on their level and explain what they've done wrong, that it's not acceptable and then get an apology. Kids NEED boundaries and correction.
Hitting-no, spanking-yes. "parenting 101" is crap.
LOL WAT
I was spanked as a child and I never even think about resorting to violence to solve my problems. I'd rather talk them out and figure out a compromise but my parents were never passive aggressive with me either and I think that helped a lot.
3110 points
resorting to violence as an adult is just one consequence of being hitted as a child. others are being overly nice, demour, strong, shy, unmanly (b/c "only men hit! i don't want to be like my father!") etc.
1280 points
No one is talking about losing control. You lose control when your child doesn't listen to you. You lose control when your child doesn't respect you. When presented with a situation where your child does something inappropriate and they are not old enough to understand reason, a swat on the behind is a clear indication that they should change their behavior. This does not teach your child that violence is the only way to get your point across. My son is 11 and has been spank a few times when he was young and he is the most non-violent person I know. Parenting 101 ='s take responsibility for your child but be compassionate towards them. And being compassionate towards them means not letting them grow up being an arsehole that has no respect for others and his/her actions. When you encounter rude, disrespectful people in the world; you can probably thank their parents for not disciplining them enough to help them grow into decent, kind, and considerate people. Whenever I meet a kid that lacks respect, I immediately think his/her parents don’t really care about his/her well being.
1280 points
No one is talking about losing control. You lose control when your child doesn't listen to you. You lose control when your child doesn't respect you. When presented with a situation where your child does something inappropriate and they are not old enough to understand reason, a swat on the behind is a clear indication that they should change their behavior. This does not teach your child that violence is the only way to get your point across. My son is 11 and has been spank a few times when he was young and he is the most non-violent person I know. Parenting 101 ='s take responsibility for your child but be compassionate towards them. And being compassionate towards them means not letting them grow up being an ahole that has no respect for others and his/her actions. When you encounter rude, disrespectful people in the world; you can probably thank their parents for not disciplining them enough to help them grow into decent, kind, and considerate people. Whenever I meet a kid that lacks respect, I immediately think his/her parents don’t really care about his/her well being.
1280 points
No one is talking about losing control. You lose control when your child doesn't listen to you. You lose control when your child doesn't respect you. When presented with a situation where your child does something inappropriate and they are not old enough to understand reason, a swat on the behind is a clear indication that they should change their behavior. This does not teach your child that violence is the only way to get your point across. My son is 11 and has been spank a few times when he was young and he is the most non-violent person I know. Parenting 101 ='s take responsibility for your child but be compassionate towards them. And being compassionate towards them means not letting them grow up being an ahole that has no respect for others and his/her actions. When you encounter rude, disrespectful people in the world; you can probably thank their parents for not disciplining them enough to help them grow into decent, kind, and considerate people. Whenever I meet a kid that lacks respect, I immediately think his/her parents don’t really care about his/her well being.
28740 points
She's insane. Why wouldn't she think that it's okay? The telling thing would be seeing if Jon ever did it.
spanking is perfectly acceptable in my book every once in a while. regardless of how we feel about spanking, I have to point out that it is IMPOSSIBLE to determine what was going between mother and daughter in this picture!!! it looks to me like her daughter was throwing a temper tantrum and Kate was just getting frustrated...we don't see her raising a hand or anything. It reminds me of that story circulating in the tabloids a few weeks back when her daughter said 'you're mean mommy!', and everybody made a huge deal out of that. I mean, come on, what kid didn't say that to their parent at some point when they were little! I am 30 years old and I still say that every once in a while ;)
I am sure Kate Gosslin is not the perfect parent...she has way too many things going on between trying to look good (i.e. spending 2 hours at the gym every day), having 8 children, being on a reality show, trying to deal with a failing marriage...but it's also unfair to judge her based on these grainly little pictures and a caption from some tabloid.
1805 points
I absolutely agree with everything you said! Someone above commented "look at the kids face...it's abuse!". Give me a break...Leah was probably crying that hard from throwing a major temper tantrum which KIDS DO. Just like you said, NOBODY has any clue what was really going on here.
Time outs don't work with my daughter, she just follows me around crying and telling me that she doesn't want to be in time out. I have never spanked her, but have threatened many times. The mere threat works with her (for now).
I agree with the comments above that state that kids get away with too much now, they are not disciplined properly. I was spanked as a child and i am not scarred by it at all. The second picture does look harsh, but she was probably turning her daughter around to send her away.
I feel badly for this woman. She did ask for the spotlight in a sense, but not the invasion of privacy. I enjoy seeing pictures of celebs when they are out in public, but not the blurry ones that are obviously taken from the bushes.
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