Gwyneth Paltrow Had No Maternal Feelings For Moses When He Was Born


Now THIS is an honest interview! Gwyneth Paltrow admitted that after the birth of her second child, son Moses (who turns four today), she did not connect with him right away.

“At my lowest, I was a robot. I just didn’t feel anything. I had no maternal feelings for him – it was awful.

“I had no thoughts of harming him, thank God, but I couldn’t connect, and still, when I look pictures of him at three months old, I don’t remember that time.

“My problem was that I never acknowledged anything was wrong. I just carried on as normal, and I just felt crazy. It was Chris, actually, who said out loud that something was wrong. And that was such a relief when he did because it was confirmation that it wasn’t just me.”

Apparently, what Gwyneth realized was that she needed to spend some time on herself, including going back to work.

“That was the beginning. That was when I cracked it – I started exercising and I started thinking about working again.

“That’s my problem, though. Sometimes I have a hard time saying what I need to say. I’ll be annoyed. I’ll stew. I’ll build a wall around me and give off the silent treatment – and I know that’s not healthy.”

I think A LOT of us can relate to how difficult it can be to ask for what we need.

I have mixed feelings about this interview, though. On one hand, I think it’s incredibly brave for Gwyneth to talk about this. Mothers having trouble attaching with their babies is something we don’t talk about, but it happens. And it’s REALLY tough to deal with, because who wants to admit it?

Yet, this is a published interview. Moses will likely read this one day (with the internet, nothing goes away). Gwyneth is going to have to be very careful to explain this to him, and hopefully he’ll be able to understand.

What are your reactions to Gwyneth’s interview?

Photos by FAME

Comments

  1. Snow says

    I think I can understand what she says, but I am concerned about the way she says it. PPD is indeed a very serious problem, too serious to be talked about in such a “by the way” manner. She shouldn’t have said with which kid she felt it. That’s between her and them. Of course it’s ok for the kids to know, but not the rest of the world.

  2. xy mom says

    I had the same thing with my first born. It’s hyped so much that as soon as you see this child you just gush with motherly love. Well, i didn’t feel like that. I felt like doo-doo. Then I had guilt on top of it. I’m glad other people talk about it!!

  3. betty77 says

    I agree w/ most other people here that’s it’s a good thing to talk about. My mom said she felt that way w/ my brother and she felt just horrible about it. But then one day a few weeks after he was born it just clicked. She’s told him and he certainly doesn’t feel bad about it b/c she definitely loves him now!!

  4. Ha says

    It was a temporary issue that has since been worked through and obviously she adores her son (see picture above). I’m not sure why it should be kept top secret – I’m all for drawing attention to issues that are viewed as shameful by the person going through them. The one major thing that has helped me in low times (not PPD) has been that I am not the only person feeling that way at that time. Creating normal perspective and removing stigma is not often a bad thing. Kudos to her for her honesty.

  5. anonomously says

    She has nothing to be ashamed of and her son should not be worried by reading this. By the time he is able to find, read and understand this, he will have had many years of love and devotion from his mother, and I’m sure will be in no doubt of his mother’d love for him. She clearly had a recognised disorder – post natal depression, which no-one should. I think it is good that Gwyn, who projects an image of perfection, has spoken about this, to show that anyone can be struck by this.

  6. AnotherDirtyMartini says

    I am concerned that her child may read it (or be shown the article) at some point, but who knows…she may decide to explain it herself to him when he is more mature. I DO think her stating this publicly helps other women tremendously. Most people feel they can only discuss the joys of motherhood..and if they’re not feeling the joys, it can be a lonely place.

  7. audrey says

    I think a lot of unrealistic expectations are place on mothers in general. We have people telling us how we should be feeling, or acting, and when we just can’t rally around those expectations we feel we are failures. I think it is time for moms to get together and tell it like it really is. Motherhood is great–but it’s messy, and over whelming and hard. I am not perfect–I am human and I make tons of mistakes and have cried buckets of tears. I may have scarred my children for life.

  8. Sheri says

    I have heard her say in interviews that both her pregnancies were terribly difficult … her description here sounds like PPD to me. She needs to forgive herself. I’m sure little Moses knows how much his Mama loves him and I’m sure he will feel that way even as an adult.

  9. sunnyman says

    I think she says these ‘shocking’ things to keep people talking about her and to keep her name in the papers. She is so self absorbed.

  10. CaptainSpauldingToTheRescue says

    I generally can’t stand her but I think this was a good thing to publically admit. It may help another mother reach out for help.

  11. Anonymous says

    NOT a big deal. It’s not like she still felt that way when he was a year old. Lots of women, including myself, experience this. It’s not so terrible if you don’t have an instant connection with your 2nd baby, as long as it happens eventually. It really depends on your circumstances. My 1st was only 14 months old when I had my 2nd baby. I was already caring for another “baby”. Needless to say, my brain was still on the fritz but then I finally came around….and I was in *LOVE*……..:)

  12. Angi says

    I had PPD with my pregnancies and that is why my husband and I have only 2 children. There is still shame involved,because everyone expects you to be all aglow with motherhood. I think it needs talked about more,so many tragedies can be avoided.

  13. momster says

    I agree with you. PPD does need to be talked about more. I suffered from it terribly with my first 3…. didn’t know what it was, though. I know I’ll probably get some heated response to this, but with my 4th I didn’t nurse and it was like night and day. I enjoyed absolutely every minute (well, not EVERY minute, but in comparison it felt that way) of her being a newborn & infant.

  14. Anonymous says

    Breastfeeding is soooo incredibly demanding. In fact, I couldn’t nurse, so I pumped exclusively…and it was so hard. But I pushed myself through it after both of my babies. In the end, I could say “I breastfed my babies”….but I was sooo miserable. I don’t think I fully enjoyed motherhood until I stopped breastfeeding for good. That’s just my experience.

  15. Sammy1976 says

    I think it is very brave of her. This is an issue which need to be discussed more in the public. There is so much pressure on mothers today to be perfect and independent, forgetting our need for help and support.

    She might tell her son one day. I don’t know if he would really read it one day, they seem to pretty much keep to themselves.

  16. Carolyn says

    I think it’s great that she talks about it so openly. Why shouldn’t she? The fact that she had no maternal feelings for Moses has nothing to do with Moses, it has to do with the fact that she was depressed. It’s a horrible experience that too many women go through. Good for her for getting through it and good for her for sharing her story.

  17. Lizzypoo says

    It’s fine and ok to talk about. I felt like that with my 2nd. I, obviously, don’t feel that way now.

  18. speranza517 says

    I give her a LOT of credit for this one, precisely BECAUSE it brings attention to an issue that a lot of people won’t even ACKNOWLEDGE, let alone discuss. And if, someday, he grows up and reads this, after a LIFETIME of her demonstrating love and affection for him, I’d hope he would be PROUD of her speaking out and raising awareness of a cause rather than doing what everyone else does and sweeping it under the rug. She didn’t say that she DOESN’T love him, didn’t want him, etc. Just that she had issues connecting with him when he was first born. Kudos to her for talking about that, and maybe helping someone else to deal with it in the process.

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