Rihanna is displaying a more mature attitude along with her more mature styles at Paris Fashion Week. She sat down with Vanity Fair for an interview and opened up about her past with Chris Brown. Many people- especially those not familiar with the dynamics of domestic violence- were shocked (not to mention disappointed) when she got back together with Chris after he assaulted her and even went to court for him, requesting that the restraining order she had against him be lifted. Now she’s talking about why she gave him another chance.
I was that girl, that girl who felt that as much pain as this relationship is, maybe some people are built stronger than others. Maybe I’m one of those people built to handle s**t like this. Maybe I’m the person who’s almost the guardian angel to this person, to be there when they’re not strong enough, when they’re not understanding the world, when they just need someone to encourage them in a positive way and say the right thing.”
I think many women can empathize with the feeling that, just maybe, we can “fix” this person.
Rihanna admits that was her underlying thought process: she could change him.
A hundred percent. I was very protective of him. I felt that people didn’t understand him. Even after … But you know, you realize after a while that in that situation you’re the enemy. You want the best for them, but if you remind them of their failures, or if you remind them of bad moments in their life, or even if you say I’m willing to put up with something, they think less of you—because they know you don’t deserve what they’re going to give. And if you put up with it, maybe you are agreeing that you [deserve] this, and that’s when I finally had to say, ‘Uh-oh, I was stupid thinking I was built for this.’ Sometimes you just have to walk away.”
She even confessed that she still doesn’t absolutely loathe Chris Brown.
I don’t hate him. I will care about him until the day I die. We’re not friends, but it’s not like we’re enemies. We don’t have much of a relationship now.”
Well, at least she’s honest! I’m glad she’s taking care of herself! The reality of the situation is that you can’t change other people, especially people who are troubled. Hopefully others in dysfunctional relationships like this will read about Rihanna’s insight and perhaps be able to apply it to themselves.
Photos by FAMEFLYNET