Blender Magazine scored an interview with Jack Black and got him to open up about his wedding to Tanya Haden. The couple eloped to Big Sur and Jack claims she came along with a bunch of her stuffed animals. The story itself is SO RANDOM that I almost believe him. Then again, Jack is quick on his feet...

"They had a special package deal where you can get married by a woman named Soaring… The ceremony was pretty hippie, spacey and non-denominational. (It was) just us, Soaring, a photographer and Tanya’s stuffed animals. She has a bunch of stuffed animals that she gives voice to.

"All her animals and characters were there - Quacker, Imaginary Bear, Pee, Richard, Harold - and they were the witnesses."

And when the newlyweds returned to Los Angeles, they staged a party for family and friends during which Haden put on a puppet show. Black recalls,

"(It was) all about Quacker, the duck, who was a little bit p**sed off because he was best friends with Tanya. A slide show that he narrated told the story of how we came together and fell in love, and how he was crushed by loneliness."

Ok, after reading this a few dozen times, I don't know how I thought for one second he was telling the truth. 

Photos by WENN

"I am never at home and every woman gets sick of it. I don't expect to ever get married again or have children."

-- George Clooney

Photos by WENN

"It's the best thing that ever happened to me."

-- Nick Cannon talking about his marriage to Mariah Carey

"Madonna always reinvents herself, and that’s what I want to do. Whatever comes my way that sounds good, that’s what I want to do. Whether it’s designing clothes or photography or whatever."

-- Miley Cyrus

Photos by WENN

"I'm lucky to be alive - I don't think I was completely sane. They should have put me in jail. Plus, I was doing coke and sniffing glue, I stole from my mom.

"It was a bad time, but most teens have reckless spells."

-Jack Black on his wild teenage years.

"I love second-hand shops. Or I make my own clothes because I’ve never found the kinds of things I liked."

-- Helen Mirren

I know so many people that have great luck in second hand stores. Have you ever purchased a great find?

Photos by Bauer Griffin

"There’s a fair amount of sexual energy and drug parallels. We have a couple of Trainspotting moments. "That’s two films I never thought would be mentioned in the same breath."

-- Daniel Radcliffe talking about Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

WHAT?! Doesn't he know those things are permanent? Meaning it will last more than a few months. Meaning it will outlive their relationship. Benji Madden is getting a tattoo of Paris Hilton. And Paris wants to do the same - but he won't allow it.

"He is going to get one of me but he won’t let me get one. He doesn’t like tattoos on women. He thinks I look pure."

While we are on Paris Hilton, do you think she enjoys going clubbing. In fact, the only reason why she heads out for a night on the town is to collect the paycheck that soon follows.

"When they see me at parties, I am actually getting paid to be there. There is no such thing as bad publicity."

Photos by Bauer Griffin

"It’s hard to beat that dude. He has another gear. He did two and a half hours in France for Mission: Impossible on the red carpet. Now when I go to France, people will say, ‘You know, Tom was out here for two and a half hours.’"

-- Will Smith on trying to beat Tom Cruise's autograph signing record.

 

"I’m so useless with the computer, it’s disgusting. I’ve just recently been told that I’m old school and pathetic but I think you can get sucked into the internet.

"I know I do on those days when it’s slow and you start checking everything out and then it’s like you’re sucked into some kind of crazy vortex."

-- Charlize Theron

Photos by Bauer Griffin